


You like me (I like you too)

by Xx_Mimikyuwu_xX



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Dates, Blind Date, Comedy, Cute, Dating, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Kidnapping, M/M, Making Out, Mentioned Gun Violence, Non-Graphic Violence, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Suspense, a touch of angst, johnjae can't admit their feelings to each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-06 00:49:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21217817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xx_Mimikyuwu_xX/pseuds/Xx_Mimikyuwu_xX
Summary: “So the plan is to get our brothers together.” Mark clasps his hands together.“Uh huh.” Donghyuck sighs. “We’ve been over this like… fifteen times.”“I’m just trying to process it.” Mark picks at his tater tot. “Why are we doing this again?”“So they can finally realize their secret gay feelings for each other, duh!”---“I kinda like you.” Johnny stares at the road ahead, trying to keep his eyes away from Jaehyun.“Yeah, I know that.” Jaehyun sighs. “But that’s not important, I gotta get my brother back before my parents find out otherwise my mom is gonna slaughter me and eat my liver for breakfast.”“Right.”“I like you back.” Jaehyun slightly smiles. Johnny doesn’t see it. “Just letting you know.”“I know that.”---Mark and Donghyuck, lovey-dovey boyfriends, try to get their brothers Johnny and Jaehyun together. If only both of them weren't so oblivious to each other's feelings.#S074





	1. The World, According to Donghyuck

**Author's Note:**

> Aaa! After a lot of half-asleep writing and maybe a few mental breakdowns, here it finally is! I had such a great time writing this fic. Thank you to the original prompter who came up with this prompt. I never ever would have thought about such a creative idea. I usually don't write stuff like this, so I was excited to let my creativity flow and create this. I kind of read the prompt kinda wrong at first, but hopefully it's still good!

The world is cold and cruel. But Donghyuck doesn’t mind it too much, because he has a good enough life to the point where life doesn’t always fucking suck all the goddamn time. It could be worse, is what he always tells himself. He has a nice family, an annoying brother (who’s also completely oblivious, but Donghyuck’s not complaining), and possibly the world’s most amazing boyfriend to ever exist on planet earth. 

So maybe that's an exaggeration, but Mark’s pretty damn great. He’s like a puppy in many ways. And Donghyuck doesn’t mind that. Puppies are cool as fuck. And now, here he is, lying in bed, curled into Mark’s chest and falling asleep to the gentle sound of the breeze flowing through his window. 

It’s always been this way, with Mark at least. Mark’s been his best friend since the literal dawn of time, which doesn’t make any sense in the timeline of the universe, but Donghyuck would argue otherwise. 14 billion years really should be spent with the person you love, even when you’re quarks floating in the ever-expanding universe.

Mark’s the best kind of boyfriend Donghyuck could ever ask for, not that he has much experience with any others. Mark’s his life, Mark is really everything to him. Which, of course, is cheesy for anyone to say, let alone a newly graduated high school senior. He shouldn’t know what love is, that’s dumb. But, he can’t help but love Mark. And Mark loves him back. 

He wakes up to Jaehyun standing at his doorway, with a disgusted kind of look on his face. 

“Get out, mouth breather.” Donghyuck pulls a face of disgust. 

“Morning to you too.” Jaehyun shrugs. 

“I’m trying to have a moment here.” Donghyuck scoffs. 

“That’s gay.” Jaehyun groans.

“You’re gay!” Donghyuck counters.

“You’re gay.” Jaehyun retorts.

“You got me there.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes, turning over to cuddle into Mark’s chest. It’s always been like this. Jaehyun and Donghyuck don’t hate each other, per say, it’s just the obligatory ‘I hate you’ shtick. It’s just like that, being brothers. It really all started the moment Donghyuck popped out of the womb. Hating each other is only natural, it’s just part of the rules of being siblings. 

His first real memory of being angry with his brother was when he was four years old and Jaehyun dropped a TV on him when Donghyuck was trying to play Super Mario 64. He never did finish that game. Rest in pieces, Nintendo 64. Another time was when Jaehyun pushed him off the rock pile at the park, which sent Donghyuck tumbling down a mountain of shard-like rocks, which hurt like a bitch, and left him with scars all over his legs. 

His favorite memory of absolutely loathing his brother, came when Donghyuck went to his first middle school dance. The fall formal. He was having a perfectly mediocre time, nothing unusual, when bam! Jaehyun splashed a whole bowl of punch on him. No idea why he even did it, because Donghyuck was wearing a rental suit, and that meant they had to pay for it now, stained with fruit punch and all. It also came with a week of detentions and a formal apology from his very own brother (which was rejected the next week when Donghyuck got a really nasty Wet Willie in his sleep, still unforgiven by the way). After that incident, all the drinks were served in dinky plastic cups. 

“I’m gonna go for a run.” Jaehyun says, already jogging in place. “Don’t let Mark anywhere near the stove, you know what happened last time.” 

“Just leave, you fucking booger.” Donghyuck rolls over in his bed. “And it was one time I let him cook! I didn’t know he couldn’t cook for shit!”

“What?” Mark whispers groggily. Donghyuck likes these kinds of mornings when he wakes up in Mark’s arms. Of course, it’s better without his brother invading their privacy. 

“Just go back to sleep, babe.” Donghyuck cuddles back into Mark, falling asleep again.

\--- 

The next time Donghyuck sees Mark (besides texting him incessantly and trying to facetime every moment he can, but that doesn’t count) is Monday morning at the park. Next week starts Donghyuck’s first week of college, which is crazy and totally a simulation. Really, he’s a college student? At the same college as his brother? Neo Culture University will be lucky to escape unscathed. 

“Markie!” Donghyuck jumps on top of him, almost trampling Mark and sending him sprawling on the grass. Thankfully, it doesn’t happen. This time. 

“You saw me two days ago.” Mark slightly grins, pulling Donghyuck in for a hug. 

“Two days too long.” Donghyuck groans. “My parents were out of town, so I was stuck with Jaehyun all weekend. You know they don’t leave me home alone. They’re afraid of my gayness, I presume. Jaehyun’s so boring, you know. He’s like white bread! The whole weekend, we only watched CNN! I watched more news than I have in my entire life. He said it was because he wants to be ‘an informed citizen’. Informed citizen, my ass. And, I never want to drink another vegan chocolate milkshake again. Absolutely disgusting.” 

“Lots of complaints, huh.” Mark says. 

“My brother is fucking insufferable.” Donghyuck groans.

“Johnny’s not much better.” 

“At least he doesn’t make you watch CNN and drink disgusting vegan shit.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes. 

“Yeah, but I ate ramen for three days in a row. There’s only so many chicken flavoring packets I can take at once.” Mark shudders. “Johnny just eats it straight out the bag.” 

“Ah, the life of a broke college student.” 

“So,” Mark sits down in a swing, dragging his feet in the mulch, “are you excited?” 

“For what, college?” 

“I mean, yeah.” Mark shrugs. “We’re gonna be independent.” 

“And broke.” 

“And we can be more open on campus.” 

“And I’ll probably have a gross roommate.” 

“And we can enjoy our last years before having to submit to the capitalist machine and live in crippling student debt!” Mark declares.

“See,” Donghyuck grins, the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, “That sounds more like it.” He sits down on a swing, kicking his legs around. 

“It’s not gonna be perfect, but I mean, we can be together. And that’s more than enough for me.” Mark smiles.

“That’s so fucking cheesy.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes, grinning underneath his hard exterior. “I like that.” 

“Cuz you’re cheesy too.” 

“But you love me.” Donghyuck tangles their fingers together, intertwining their hands. “You love me, Mark.” 

“Uh huh.” 

\---

“Can’t you just leave already?” Donghyuck grumbles, rolling his eyes and turning over on his bed to look over at Jaehyun’s side. 

It’s all dark and dreary, just like Donghyuck imagines semi-adult life to be. Jaehyun’s bed is messy. His backpack is strewn on the floor, along with his four hundred dollar textbooks and his half-ripped notebooks. College has changed Jaehyun, in a couple ways. He’s way too absorbed in modernist philosophy for his own good and he’s a whiny bitch baby. Mostly the latter. To be frank, there’s only so many discussions on the repercussions of capitalism that Donghyuck can take in his lifetime (only one. And Jaehyun has gone well over that limit). At this point it’s just pure irony, because Jaehyun is a business major with a minor in economics, so realistically, capitalism is his only option for survival. 

Another change in Jaehyun is his terrible outfits. Flannels and stripped pants? A Neo Culture University sweater and ill-fitting light-wash jeans? Gym shorts and a ratty pajama shirt? Where does he pull these outfits from? His ass? Not that Jaehyun’s ever had the greatest fashion sense, but at least before college, he could put a cohesive outfit together without looking like he got dressed in the dark. 

The last huge lifestyle change for Jaehyun was his sudden veganism. It was as if overnight, he became a child of the plants, drinking kombucha and eating quinoa. It’s not that Donghyuck has anything against vegans because they’re mostly nice people, but the fact that his brother takes up half the fridge with his whole foods shit irks him just a little. Can you blame him? He’d be the happiest little non-vegan boy in the world if he never had to drink hemp milk again. Hemp milk doesn’t even get you high, where’s the fun in that? 

“You’re going to the same college as me, it’s not like I’ll be that far.” Jaehyun says.

“But at least I don’t have to see your face everyday, there’s four thousand other people entering the freshman class.” Donghyuck looks up at the ceiling. 

“Are you scared?” Jaehyun inquires. 

“Of what?” 

“College. And like…” Jaehyun pauses for a moment, “having to ‘adult’ and shit?” 

“Nah.” Donghyuck shrugs. “I mean, look at you! You’re kind of an adult. And look at how you turned out. At least I have a guideline- I’m not going in totally blind.” 

“That’s a surprise.” Jaehyun scoffs. “And I’m gonna take your statement as a complement.”

“You do you, boo. So what’s it like, being an adult, sort of kind of?” 

“Weird.” Jaehyun says. “It’s nice to drink without a fake ID. I’ve already accumulated massive amounts of debt at the tender age of twenty one. Being an adult can be compared to trying to hit a piñata with a blindfold on. Except there’s no piñata, and everything is on fire. But you can’t see it.” 

“So it’s like, Birdbox.” Donghyuck nods. “But worse.” 

“You could put it that way.”


	2. The Problems With Jaehyun, According to Johnny

Obviously, like any good love story, it starts with a realization. It’s a hot September day during his sophomore year of college when Johnny first realizes it. ”It” meaning the looming observation of being hopelessly in love with Jaehyun, of course. Jaehyun’s absolutely stunning, with brown hair, perfectly defined facial features and a body sculpted by god himself. He says it’s because of his vegan diet, but Johnny could literally care less.

Johnny is in love with Jaehyun. Which is one hard pill to swallow, because Jaehyun is way out of his league. There’s also the fact that his brother’s boyfriend is Jaehyun’s brother, which besides being a total and complete utter mindfuck also means that things are invariably awkward. Despite their brothers being boyfriends, they barely see each other. Hell, they go to the same college and it’s hard enough to even get a peek at Jaehyun.

Now, Johnny wouldn’t say he’s gay, or anything too drastic, but he’s certainly into Jaehyun. Whatever that may mean. Hopefully, this too shall pass, because Johnny is getting really tired of waking up at 2 am every night in a cold sweat and Johnny Jr down there standing on end.

He should stop thinking about Jaehyun, both for the benefit of his sanity and his skinny jeans. As mentioned before, Johnny has a brother. Mark isn’t the worst kind of brother, in fact, he’s pretty good on the little brother scale. Mark spends most of his time out with his boyfriend, and there isn’t really a reason to hate him. The only thing Johnny truly has reservations about is Mark’s cooking skills, but who is he to judge?

Of course, Mark’s his kid brother.However, Johnny’s semi-thankful his relationship with his brother isn’t nearly as dysfunctional as Jaehyun’s- his brother hates him with a burning passion. Donghyuck himself is nice enough with a usually genuine smile, sharp tongue, and roasts (Johnny’s been the target of them multiple times, they sting more than a million wasps). Sometimes, he wonders how Mark stands it, because Donghyuck is just such a little twat sometimes. None of this matters.

It’s a weird time for Johnny, because this is the summer before senior year, the last year before he’s truly an adult, before he has to become independent and support himself financially. Working retail during high school and college doesn’t exactly make the biggest bank roll, and he very obviously knows that he’s going to be suffering with a weighty amount of student debt. So he should enjoy his freedom while it lasts. Johnny’s gonna be 22 next year and he’s fucking scared of the future. And on top of that, he’s having the worst kind of gay awakening.

He has to stop thinking about being gay! God, everything is so fucking confusing. He’s not gay, he really isn’t. He’s liked girls before. Pussy is nice, it’s great, even! He doesn’t even like other boys. If it weren’t for Jaehyun, he probably never would have liked a boy. It’s just that one person who’s fucking up his streak of being undeniably straight. He doesn’t even understand why he’s lusting after him so hard. Being vegan and a boy isn’t even that attractive.  
\---

“John.” Mark says.

Johnny could truly care less; he has one more week before his senior year of college, so he has much more important things to do than listen to his kid brother. Those important things include but are not limited to: eating the whole party sized bag of lay’s barbeque chips by himself, jacking off, and taking ‘am I gay?’ quizzes in order to further his knowledge on whether he’s actually gay or not. So far, no answer to this very important question.

“John.”

Johnny groans.

“What, you shit for brains?” Johnny clicks his tongue and halts his chip eating. “I’m watching South Park.”

“It’s like the same episode every time.” Mark rolls his eyes, leaning over the side of the couch. “Fart jokes here and there, a Cartman fat joke, then Kenny fucking dies. Don’t you want to enjoy the last week of summer?”

“I am enjoying my last week of summer.”

“Drowning your sorrows in chips?”

“I don’t get these at the university cafeteria.”

“Whatever.” Mark jumps onto the couch. “Gimme those.” He’s sort of dressed up, in a teenager-y sort of way. He’s wearing a light blue button down (which was Johnny’s, it’s obvious because it looks like Mark is drowning in fabric), khaki pants (also Johnny’s, because they’re severely cuffed at the end), a belt, and his dress shoes from band (first flute, baby). He’s smothered in the sickening scent of axe and hair gel.

“You look…”

“What?” Mark scoffs. “Stupid? Idiotic?”

“No. Nice, I suppose.” Johnny shrugs. “What’s with the elevated garb?”

“Donghyuck and I are going to this super fancy restaurant downtown. He said if we’re eating like the upper middle class, we gotta look like were upper middle class, not just middle class. I hope it’s worth it, because chivalry says I’m paying.”

“How are you getting there?”

“Bus.” Mark replies. “There’s a bus station a block from Donghyuck’s house.”

“So you’re just gonna walk there?”

“No. I couldn’t risk ruining my outfit, now, could I?” Mark grins his most devious kind of smile. “Speaking of rides, could you give me one?”

“What?” Johnny raises his eyebrows, and then furrows them quickly after. “No fucking way.”

“Come on! Mom said you’d take me!”

“N-O. No. No way.”

“I don’t have a driver’s license!” Mark whines.

“That’s your fault!” At the tender age of 18, Mark still doesn’t have his driver’s license. He’s failed the test twice. One ended with a broken fire hydrant, and the other ended with a near totaling of the car. Johnny was in the car that fateful day and witnessed the test instructor almost getting crushed by a garbage can flying through the window. After that, Mark hasn’t been allowed in the driver’s seat.

So for the time being, Mark is begging for rides. Which is more like telling their mom that Johnny won’t give him a ride, which results in Johnny being forced into driving Mark around like a chauffeur. Not fun, especially because Johnny wants nothing more than to sit on his ass and do nothing. Mark has a surprisingly eventful life for an 18 year old (not that Johnny is jealous or anything), so that means lots of driving him around and as a result, less time sitting on the couch and more time in his hand-me-down Audi.

“Please, Johnny!” Mark clasps his hands together.

“No way.” Johnny huffs.

“I’ll pay you,” Mark begs, pouting as best as he can.

“What am I? Fucking Uber? I gave you my answer, now get out of my room.”

“Mom!”

“Fine, you little dickwad!” Johnny rolls his eyes, absolutely exasperated. Never mind, he might hate his brother a little bit.

“Thanks, John. I’ll see you in the car. Jaehyun’s gonna be there, you know.”

“Yeah I-“ Johnny stops for a moment. Jaehyun? Like the Jaehyun? Well. Maybe he should change his boxers and get rid of his stained sweatpants. “I’ll be right back.” Mark gives him a smug look and Johnny really has to resist the urge to smack him.

Johnny scavenges his room for clothes that don’t have totally gross stains or holes in awkward places. Why didn’t he take the time to put away his laundry? That’s something past Johnny has to live with. He finally manages to get something semi-decent looking after a minute or two and pulls it on as quickly as humanly possible. It’s sort of casual chic. He races to the bathroom, brushes his teeth and sprays on a bit of cologne (not axe, good heavens no) and fiddles with his hair. 5 minutes, not bad. The result isn’t mind blowing but he looks put together to the point where he doesn’t look like he rolled out of bed.

“All right, let's get a move on, Mark.” Johnny smacks Mark over the back of the head, not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to sting. He’s gotten good at it over the years.

“Ow.” Mark rubs his cranium. “Aren’t you forgetting something, genius?”

“No.” Johnny scoffs. It’s almost insulting really, that Mark thinks that low of him.

“The car keys?”

“Oh.” Johnny bounds back up the stairs, fishing his keys out of the mess of shit that’s on top of his bedside table.

Johnny’s car isn’t his car as much as it is the Seo family car. It’s old enough to live in an over 55+ community, retire, and collect monthly payments from a social security fund. So basically, it’s a shitty old car. Perhaps it isn’t that ancient, but it sure does feel like it. This Audi was passed down to his mother from his uncle (it was already a second hand car), and then to himself. Not that he’s complaining, it’s nice that he even got a car, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a poor excuse for a car. Whoever said that an Audi was supposed to be a luxury car knows shit about cars.

But, he digresses, there’s no point in getting mad over a car when there are much better things to think about, like the next episode of South Park he’s thinking of watching (probably the Craig and Tweek one, it keeps him thinking) or how many chips he has left in the bag (he’s trying to keep count, but Mark interrupted his chip counting again), or maybe even contemplating the mere hours he has left of this awful hell of a summer break. Johnny turns the corner seamlessly (Mark could only dream of having these driving skills) and cruises down the street. Donghyuck’s house isn’t very far, not even by short-legged Mark’s standards. He’s just being a little shit. They pull up in front of Donghyuck’s (also Jaehyun’s) quickly, and Mark hops out of the car.

“Aren’t you gonna come with me?”

“Why would I?” Johnny leans on the steering wheel.

“Don’t you want to show Jaehyun your spiffy look?” Mark waggles his eyebrows. Ew..

“No, now get the fuck out of my sight.”

“But, you should be nice and at least say hi…” Mark nods back and forth. “I mean, It’d be rude if you didn’t. Mom taught us to be ‘respectable young men.’”

“You’re insufferable.” Johnny gives up and whips open the car door. Wait, did he put on deodorant? Fuck! He’s gonna perspire! That’s not attractive. Not that he’s trying to be attractive for anyone. Not in particular.

“Are you worried about something?” Mark smirks, walking up the cutesy suburban walkway covered in sunflowers and marigolds.

“No!” Johnny says. “Why the hell would I be worrying?”

“Your pits are sweating.”

“Shit! Are they really?” Johnny flaps around his arms frantically as he walks onto the porch. He wouldn’t say he’s worried as much as he’s nervous. They’re two very different things, but they do both make him sweat buckets.

“No.” Mark chuckles. “I just like seeing you panic.” He rings the doorbell and leans against the porch railing.

“You little bastard, I’d strangle you if we weren’t in public you-“ The screen door swings open. There stands Jaehyun, all veganism and glowing good looks.

“Hey Mark.” He grins slightly. “John.”

Johnny only nods and looks down at the rustic red coloring of the porch.

“Where’s Hyuck?” Mark says.

“Waiting for you so he can make his grand entrance.” Jaehyun groans. “He’s been waiting up there for like twenty minutes now. Speaking of which, he told me to call when you came. Hyuck!”

“What, fucktard?” A distinct nasally voice cut through the air, very much Donghyuck’s.

“Your knight in shining armor is here!” Jaehyun shouts. Donghyuck bounds down the stairs, nearly hopping down every step until he trips over nothing but the air and slides down the stairs right on his ass.

“Holy shit!” Mark immediately runs over to Donghyuck, trying to hold back a laugh. Donghyuck scowls.

Jaehyun barrels over in a fit of laughter, clutching his stomach. He’s wild, unleashed and completely overjoyed at the sight of his brother tripping. Donghyuck glares at him and proceeds to tell him off, but Johnny can’t tell what the hell he’s saying because he’s too absorbed in Jaehyun. God, Jaehyun’s cute when he laughs. He’s cute all the time. Stop thinking about being gay! Johnny, trying to pass off his awkward silence, forces out a heavy chuckle. God, he’s whipped.

“It’s not funny!” Donghyuck says. “Stop it, assholes!”

“It’s not funny-” Jaehyun wheezes. “It’s hilarious!”

“If it makes you feel any better, I like your outfit, Hyuck.” Mark says. “It’s very upper middle class.”

He’s wearing white jeans and some kind of frilly pink top thing that confuses Johnny. There’s a little white scarf (or maybe it’s called an ascot, Johnny doesn’t know much about neckties) tied around his neck.

“Oh really?” Donghyuck smiles slyly. “I thought you’d like it.”

Ew. Gross. The gays are back at it again, right in front of Johnny’s figurative salad. Jaehyun shows his disgust too, shuddering slightly. It’s only a small gesture, but Johnny notices.

“Yeah, but don’t you think the ascot is a bit much?” Mark tugs on the scrap of fabric.

“I figured as much, you wanna come with me and…” Donghyuck pauses, “fix it?”

“What do you mean?” Mark raises an eyebrow. Donghyuck whispers something in his ear. “Oh! Fix it.” The two of them retreat up the stairs, leaving Jaehyun and Johnny alone in the foyer. Shit.

“Hey John.” Jaehyun grins. Johnny’s pretty sure he’s having heart palpitations.

“Hi.” He decides to play it cool. This is his big moment!

“So… how’s your break?” Jaehyun says awkwardly, distracting himself by tapping his feet against the hardwood.

“Uh..” Johnny racks his mind for something inconspicuous and totally un-gay souding. “Boring.”

“Yeah.” Jaehyun nods. “Mine too. I forgot how boring it is around here.”

“Yeah.” Johnny lets his eyes wander around, trying to look at anything that isn’t Jaehyun’s stupidly handsome face.

“You wanna watch a movie or something?” Jaehyun pipes up. “I mean, you drove all the way over here.”

Watching a movie? In close proximity to Jaehyun? This is a total recipe for absolute and certain disaster. Johnny weighs his options. It’s either embarrass himself and be a gay disaster, or go the safe route and sit at home mulling over the fact that he chose chips and depression over his gay crush. It’s an easy decision.

“Nah.” Johnny says. “You know, I gotta get some stuff done, get ready for dorm life again.”

He wants to slap himself on the forehead. Hard.

“I get that, trying to get in some alone time.” Jaehyun grins. Johnny feels his heart trying to burst out of his chest. “We’ll just hang out some other time, bro.”

Bro? Holy shit, Johnny just got brozoned.

Brozoned meaning the friendzone’s drunk, douchebag cousin. His heart thumps its way back into his chest, once again resting in his ribcage. Now, he really has no chance. Jaehyun is the forbidden fruit, only to be touched and loved by women with voluptuous breasts and pouty lips. Johnny sighs, trying to pass it off as an exponentially heavy breath, and sobs on the inside. Like he always does.

“Yeah, bro.” Johnny grins, trying to hide his internal crisis.

Mark and Donghyuck run down the stairs, one after the other. Mark’s shirt is pulled at the collar, his dress shoes are in his hands, and he’s sporting a little glossy kiss mark across the side of his cheek. Donghyuck’s frilly top has a couple ruffles out of place, his hair mussed slightly, and something that looks like the beginning of a hickey at the base of his neck. Johnny rolls his eyes. He thinks it’s funny how they try to sneak around, because they are just so terribly bad at it. The first rule of having secret make out sessions is never put the hickey on the neck! Mark should know better by now. They’re just so clueless. It’s semi-infuriating, because Johnny shouldn’t be trying to invade in their gay escapades, he has his own romance blunders to worry about. Mark and Donghyuck walk out of the house, hand in hand, being all lovey-dovey.

“Mark do you need a ride home?” Johnny calls out.

“Nah,” Mark says. “Me and Donghyuck are gonna have a sleepover.”

Johnny almost laughs at the fact that even at the age of eighteen, Mark still calls it a sleepover.

“Alright, have fun, you crazy kids,” Johnny chuckles. Holy shit, he sounds like his dad.

“Did you just call them crazy kids?” Jaehyun raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” Johnny says. “Just don’t question it, bro. I’ll see you around.”

“See you.” Jaehyun basically shoos him out of the door, closing it right on Johnny’s heels.

“Fuck!” Johnny screams while standing on the porch.

He probably looks like a madman (and he feels like one too), but he could care less. He’s feeling a lot right now, but there’s a prevailing sense of failure. Johnny walks back to his car, metaphorical tail between his legs, and screams a couple more times. He shoves in the key, twists it with way to much force than necessary, and sits in his sauna of a car. it’s late August and his car has a black leather interior, what did he think was gonna happen? He kind of feels like he wants to cry, but he’s going to get through this.

He’s a twenty one year old man… with a brother who scored a boyfriend way before him and is currently downtown living it up as an upper middle class citizen. Yeah. Life is great. Johnny mopes his way back home, sheds his outside clothes in favor of pajamas, and slumps back into the couch. He finally cries while watching the Craig and Tweek South Park episode. The tears are streaming down his cheeks as he thinks about what it would be like if he was with Jaehyun.


	3. The Problems With the Upper Middle Class, According to Mark

When it comes to the class system, Mark usually isn’t too concerned. It’s not exactly something an eighteen year old is usually absorbed in. But here he is, pretending to be upper middle class when he’s merely a lower middle class teenager. 

“I already reserved us a table.” Donghyuck says. The most ironic part of this whole trip is the fact that they’re going downtown on the bus, which is the _ least _ sophisticated mode of transportation. However, for the sake of Mark’s wallet, it’s the best option. “Remember, we gotta be the _ epitome _ of class. I’m talkin’ putting on the ritz here. Yelp said this place is really snotty too.” 

“I never once thought to ask this, but why are we going to this place again?” Mark asks. 

“Oh,” Donghyuck strokes Mark’s cheek, “silly, silly Mark. We’re becoming adults now. We don’t need to have dates at the arcade anymore, we can be _ upscale _. I mean, we’re really moving up in the world!” 

“Uh huh.” Mark gives him the side eye. “How much is this going to cost _ me _?” 

“We’ll see when we get there, Markiepoo,” Donghyuck says, letting his words lilt off his tongue all sweetly. 

“So it’s gonna be expensive.” Mark rolls his eyes. 

“Basically, but you love me so much that you’ll be willing to spend the money on me.” Donghyuck gives him a cheeky smile. “If you’re good and pick up the tab, I’ll pay you back.”

“What kind of payment are you talking about?” Mark smirks. 

“Something more priceless than money can buy.” Donghyuck has an evil kind of grin on his face. 

\---

So here he is, sitting in this peculiarly fancy restaurant, feeling out of place and underdressed. Somehow, even with Donghyuck’s description of an ‘upper middle class’ restaurant, he’s nowhere near the upper middle class. 

“Isn’t this place nice, Mark?” Donghyuck says with a twinkle in his eyes. “This place has a French name! How fancy is that?” 

“Real fancy.” Mark opens up the menu. 

Le Papillon, as it’s called, is indeed the fanciest place Mark’s ever been in. Their table is covered in a pristine white tablecloth with purple accents and more forks than Mark’s seen in his entire life. Seriously, who needs five forks for one meal? There’s wine glasses already on the table, as if Mark and Donghyuck could drink. The chairs are grand, with dainty wooden carvings and a plush purple velvet lining. They even have real crystal chandeliers! However it doesn’t do much, the only light coming from their table is the tiny candle between them. Mark guesses the chandeliers just sit there and look pretty, much like his boyfriend does most of the time. 

“The menus are so luxurious.” Donghyuck beams. Mark kind of hates this place already, but for the benefit of Donghyuck’s enjoyment, he just decides to keep his mouth shut. 

“I’ve never come to a place where someone is so happy over the menu.” Mark rolls his eyes. “You haven’t even opened it yet.” 

“I”m just soaking this all in, I mean we’re seriously at a fancy French restaurant.” Donghyuck smiles from ear to ear. 

“_ Bonjour _,” a man shows up to their table, dressed to the nines in waiter attire. He looks pretty young, kind of gangly and skinny with big eyes and a tight lipped smile. His name tag reads ‘Kunhang’. “Welcome to Le Papillon.” 

He doesn’t seem very excited. 

“Hello!” Donghyuck almost singsongs. 

“Hey.” Mark says. 

“So, here are our specials for tonight. Our hors d’oeuvres are canapés with cucumbers. The entrees are escargot or the house style coq au vin. Tonight’s dessert special is blueberry creme brûlée. Every meal comes with a salad and fresh bread. What can I start you two off with?” Kunhang flashes them the fakest smile known to man. 

“I’ll go with a strawberry lemonade, I’m feeling extra boujee today.” Donghyuck replies. 

“Just a coke for me.” Mark says. 

“I’ll be right back.” Kunhang rushes off to another table. 

“Holy shit!” Donghyuck says a little too loudly. “They have free salad, Mark. It better have croutons. Those are French, right?” 

“I think so.” Mark rolls his eyes, of course his boyfriend would be excited over free croutons. 

“Here you go.” Kunhang sets their glasses down on the table. They serve drinks in wine glasses here, which scares Mark slightly. The cups look more like death traps than actual wine glasses, but Donghyuck seems to be enjoying them. “So, are we ready to place an order?”

“Yeah, I’ll have the escargot, please.” Donghyuck turns up the charm. 

“I’ll have the same thing.” Mark says. 

“Alright, I’ll be back with your salads in a moment.” Kunhang grins again, but it’s another fake smile that kind of creeps Mark out. 

It really only takes a moment, because Mark can hardly get a breath in before Kunhang is back at their table, with a salad plates in each hand. It’s an average salad, but there’s a ton of croutons. Kunhang rushes away. 

“Thanks!” Donghyuck smiles, it’s a nice genuine one. “Croutons, fuck yeah. _ Bone app the teeth _.” He enunciates each word. 

“You want mine?” Mark asks. 

“Is that even a question?” Donghyuck snatches them up and shoves the croutons in his mouth. He has them stuffed in his cheeks like a squirrel. Mark’s heart melts a little because it’s just so cute, but he would never tell Donghyuck that. Donghyuck could use it as prime blackmail material. “Thanks for taking me here, Mark. This is seriously the coolest place I’ve ever been to.” 

“I’m getting paid back handsomely, then.” Mark picks around at his lettuce. 

“Oh, you’re getting paid back _ more _ than handsomely. Get ready for quite the ride.” Donghyuck attempts to whisper his dirty talk, but with the disgusted looks from the middle aged couple next to them, Mark knows they heard. 

“Oh really?” Mark raises an eyebrow. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says slyly, “I have some plans. If you’re interested.” 

“You have my attention.” Mark says.

“You know, me being the little tease I am... I may have some tricks up my sleeve.” 

“I know, Hyuck.” Mark laughs. “You’re so obvious.” 

“Well now, you’ll really see it in _ action _.” Donghyuck bites the side of his lip. 

Okay, _ that’s _ pretty hot, Mark has to admit. 

“I’m not trying to interrupt anything here,” Kunhang says awkwardly, “but here’s your escargot. Bon appetit.”

“Thanks!” Donghyuck calls after him. He looks down at his plate, observing his escargot for a moment. “Hey, Mark, what is escargot anyway?” 

“They’re snails.” Mark shrugs. 

“Snails?” Donghyuck almost flips over the table. “These motherfuckers are snails?” 

“Yeah, why else would there be snail shells?” Mark sighs. 

“I just thought it was for decoration.” Donghyuck exclaims, catching the attention of several of the tables around them. “They’re really snails?” 

“You didn’t know what escargot was?” Mark laughs. “Why the hell would you order something if you have no idea what it is?”

“I just thought it was some fancy French shit, not snails!” Donghyuck raises his voice a little more. Mark feels eyes focused on both of them. 

“Escargot is a French delicacy. So technically, it is fancy French shit,” Mark declares.

“Well I’m not eating it.” Donghyuck turns up his nose at his plate of snails. “I just wanna know who saw snails and was like, ‘finally some good fucking food’. Like seriously.”

“Hey guys just checking in on,” Kunhang interjects. “Is something wrong with your food?” 

“No, nothing’s wrong it’s just that-” Mark starts.

“The thing that’s wrong is the fact that you serve _ snails _ as fucking _ food _!” 

“It’s a French delicacy.” Kunhang says. 

“That’s literally what I just said.” Mark groans. “Please don’t mind him, making a scene is his hobby.” 

“It’s basically my job, Mark.” Donghyuck says. 

“Listen, I don’t really know what to do here… do you want me to get my manager or something?” Kunhang sighs. “I can get him if you want, I really don’t want any trouble.” 

“Please don’t.” Mark whimpers. 

“Hell yes!” Donghyuck retorts. 

Kunhang retreats to the other end of the restaurant, disappearing into another room. Mark puts his head in his hands and sighs, a really loud kind of sigh that only means one thing, Donghyuck did something impossibly stupid again. The middle aged couples around them are staring at them, murmuring amongst themselves. Mark averts his eyes. 

“Did you really have to do that, Hyuck?” Mark whispers. 

“It had to be done.” Donghyuck smiles, looking triumphant. 

“You know, I’m really embarrassed by you right now.” Mark says. 

Kunhang comes back with a worried expression on his face and his manager in tow. His manager is a tired looking man with a kind face, round eyes, and swept up blonde hair. His name tag reads Kun. Is anyone here actually French? 

“What seems to be the problem?” Kun plasters a grin on his face. Mark feels sorry for Kun, because he looks terribly nice. If only Donghyuck didn’t make such a big deal out of _ everything _, they wouldn’t be in this predicament. 

“It’s just that-“ Donghyuck starts. 

“Please, don’t mind him.” Mark sighs. “He doesn’t know what he’s saying.” 

“Don’t interrupt me, Mark.” Donghyuck huffs. 

“We don’t mean to be any trouble, I’m terribly sorry-“ 

“You’re sorry, I’m not.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes. Of course he does.

“Donghyuck, can’t we just leave the poor waiter and his manager alone?” Mark says meekly. 

“So, what’s going on here?” Kun’s kind eyes vanish and morph into tired ones. 

“Nothing.” 

“Lots of things.”

“That doesn’t clarify anything.” Kun awkwardly laughs, trying to break the thick tension in the air. “Just tell me what the problem is so we can fix it or I’ll be forced to call security.” 

“Sir, I really don’t think it’s that serious.” Kunhang chimes in. 

“Please, Kunhang, just let me handle it.” Kun says. 

“Oh yeah, I’m so scared.” Donghyuck mocks. “Call security all you want it’s not gonna-“ 

“Security!” Kun doesn’t even hesitate. 

“Again, really sorry about this whole-“ Mark gets cut off by the sound of Donghyuck’s high-pitched wails. 

“Get off me!” The security guards take Donghyuck out of the restaurant, each of them holding one arm, as he kicks and thrashes about. Mark almost laughs. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Kunhang laughs. “You’ve got yourself _ quite _ the handful there.” 

“Tell me about it, still we’re sorry.” Mark gives a slight smile for reassurance and walks out of the restaurant, joining Donghyuck on the curb. 

“I can’t believe they actually threw _ us _ out.” Donghyuck scoffs. 

“They threw _ you _ out.” Mark giggles. 

“It’s not funny!” Donghyuck shoves him. “I just wanted a nice date. I kinda ruined it, didn’t I?” 

“Kinda is a little bit of an understatement. But it’s fine. You overreact to everything, I knew this was bound to happen some time. I guess I can cross it off my imaginary bucket list. ” Mark snakes his hand around Donghyuck’s waist, pulling him close. They’re sitting on a curb downtown, in front of a fancy restaurant they just got kicked out of. And truly, Mark really wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“I’m still hungry though.” Donghyuck leans his head on Mark’s shoulder. 

“It’s not fancy French cuisine, but we could go get pizza at Frankie’s.” Mark says. 

“Sure, I’ll take pizza over snails any day.” Donghyuck smiles. 

Sure, Donghyuck is high maintenance, annoying, and too sarcastic for his own good, but he’s Mark’s. And Mark still loves him. And Donghyuck loves Mark. 

“Oh, if I pay for your pizza, do I still get my reward?” Mark smirks. 

“Reward?” Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. “Oh right, your reward. Yeah sure, I’m feeling generous today. I’m in the mood for an angry make out, so be ready, Markie.”

\--- 

When they get home from dinner (and a little bit of goofing off downtown), it’s already 10:30, right before Donghyuck’s parent’s curfew of 11:00. They aren’t even at home, but it’s as if they have a sixth sense when it comes to curfew. The last time that they came home late (by barely even five minutes), Donghyuck got scolded by his parents. As to not upset Donghyuck’s folks anymore, Mark tries to make sure they get home extra early. 

“Can we… make out now?” Donghyuck presses a kiss to Mark’s cheek as he shuts the door behind him. Of course, he always jumps right in. 

“Yeah, just a sec.” Mark flicks the lock, making sure the house is completely safe. Mark may be kind of horny right now, but making sure the door is locked is a little more important than his libido. 

“Now?” Donghyuck huffs. He’s so impatient when he’s turned on. Mark kind of finds it hot, though. 

“We should,” Mark pants, “get on the couch. Remember what happened that one time?” 

_ That one time _ meaning the time that the two of them started making out in the living room, walking backwards in the dark until Mark slammed his head onto the stair railing. That killed the mood real fast. Not only did Mark end up with an extreme case of blue balls, but he also had a nasty bruise on his head for a good week after the incident. Donghyuck laughed and called him “lumpy headass”. Since then, they always made sure to make out on the couch. 

“Right.” Donghyuck wraps his arms around Mark, pressing another lazy kiss to his neck. 

Eventually as they stumble through the darkness of Donghyuck’s living room until Mark bumps into the couch. 

“Here.” Mark turns Donghyuck around, pinning him down on the couch cushions and tangling his hands in his ruffled shirt. Mark would like it better if it were on the floor. 

“Careful.” Donghyuck whines. “I spent good money on this blouse.” 

“The fact that you call it a blouse,” Mark lets his hands roam up Donghyuck’s shirt, “Amuses me more than anything else.” 

“Less talking, more kissing.” Donghyuck forces their lips together in a haze of passion. Each touch is like lightning on Mark’s skin and his cheeks- actually his whole face- burns like the infernos of hell. Both of them are in the heat of the moment, lips pressed together and hands everywhere. Mark pulls away, panting. Donghyuck is panting too. They’re connected by a bit of spit stretched between them. They stare at each other, only illuminated by the moonlight shining through the window. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Mark whispers. “You know that?” He starts to trail kisses down Donghyuck’s neck, biting and nibbling slightly at his sun-kissed skin.

“Ahh-” Donghyuck moans. “Fuck, Mark.” 

“Is someone down there?” Jaehyun shouts. 

“It’s just us!” Donghyuck yells back. “Go away, asshat!” 

“Whatever,” Jaehyun clicks his tongue, “and stop making out on the couch. I can hear you two upstairs, you know.” 

“I told you, go away dickwad!” Donghyuck groans. 

“Jesus, fine.” Jaehyun sighs. “But if I find a used condom on that couch-” 

“Shut the fuck up!” Donghyuck growls.

Donghyuck sits up, rolling his eyes. Mark almost laughs, but he doesn’t want to be whacked over the head by his boyfriend. Donghyuck is surprisingly strong. 

“I fucking hate my brother, god.” Donghyuck says it loud enough for Jaehyun to hear him. 

“So,” Mark draws out the ‘o’, “are we gonna make out or no?” 

“Yeah sure.” Donghyuck connects his lips with Mark’s again, drowning himself in the moment. 

Mark retorts by pushing Donghyuck down again, holding him by the waist and kissing all down his neck. Donghyuck gives out a guttural groan and tilts his head up to give Mark as much access as possible. Mark nips and bites at the skin while Donghyuck holds onto Mark’s nape. He bucks up his hips and mewls. 

They both hear a door slam loudly upstairs. 

\--- 

Mark wakes up at 11 the next day and turns over on the couch to see Donghyuck sleeping like an angel, ethereal and pure and sweet. He almost laughs at how different he is when he’s asleep. However, for fear of getting beaten up, he keeps quiet. Mark tightens his arms around Donghyuck and squeezes slightly. Mark likes these types of mornings, where the sun is shining through the window and they’re cuddled up together. He turns over to see Jaehyun in the kitchen, standing over the stove. 

“So you’re up.” Jaehyun deadpans. 

“Yeah, what are you doing down here?” Mark says. 

“Making breakfast.” Jaehyun motions to the kitchen, where there is in fact a fried egg on the stove and the air is filled with the crackling sound of oil. 

“Do I get any?” Mark asks. 

“No.” Jaehyun scoffs. 

“I’ll just make some on my own then.” Mark starts to get up from the confines of the couch. 

“Wait-“ Jaehyun smiles, “I’ll just make it. You stay right there.” 

“Thanks.” Mark grins back. 

It’s no secret Mark is a shitty cook. He even knows it himself. But food equals survival, so even if his skills are totally abysmal, he’s still gotta cook. Usually he resorts to just eating cereal or making toast (which he still manages to burn most of the time), but once and a while he’ll try making something semi-fancy. Which means either he tries to make spaghetti or Kraft mac and cheese. Totally a Michelin starred chef. Unfortunately, because of his non-existent cooking skills, Mark’s had his fair share of mishaps in the kitchen. 

Mark’s first memory of being a terrible cook was at the age of ten when he had the genius idea of putting his cup ramen in the microwave without water. It ended up catching on fire and Johnny freaked out and cried in the corner while their mom put it out. When Mark was twelve, he put a piece of pizza in the microwave still wrapped in tinfoil. Obviously, no thought process there. Not only did the pizza burst into flames, but it also broke the microwave. Mark’s still banned from the microwave to this day. 

His latest cooking escapade gone wrong though, was the fried egg incident at Donghyuck’s house last month. It was a morning very much like this one, where the sun was shining and everything felt right in the world. It was just him, Donghyuck, and Jaehyun around, so they tried cooking breakfast together (meaning Jaehyun and Donghyuck started fighting over the toaster). They left Mark unattended at the stove. Mistake number one. Mark poured way too much oil into the pan. Mistake number two. Mark had no idea how to cook an egg (he still doesn’t). Mistake number three. The whole ordeal ended with Mark’s egg exploding and with little egg parts all over the floor, stove and even the ceiling. Mark has been banned from cooking at Donghyuck’s house ever since. 

Enough with his cooking tales of woe, there are more important things in life, like the slowly awakening Donghyuck right next to him. 

“Mornin’, sleepy head.” Mark whispers. Donghyuck grunts. 

“What time is it, babe?” Donghyuck leans in for a kiss. 

“11.” 

“We never get up this early.” Donghyuck smiles. 

“Yeah.” Mark coos. 

“Uhmm…” Jaehyun clears his throat, “Not to sound mean or anything, but can you two not make out on the couch right in front of me?” 

“Sorry, Jae.” Mark shrugs. Donghyuck mumbles something like ‘this is literally fucking homophobia’ under his breath. Mark just sighs. 

Eventually, under the supervision of Jaehyun, breakfast is served. It’s way better than the cinnamon toast crunch or burnt toast Mark would usually make, so he eats his weight in fried eggs and bacon. 

“So, college starts next week.” Jaehyun says, chewing on a bit of bacon. “Are you guys ready to be Neo Culture University freshmen?” 

“Not really.” Mark pipes up. Because truly, he isn’t ready for college! 

“Well I have a couple tips for you. Number one, c’s get degrees. Number two, don’t try taking any useless courses unless they’re for your major. I took an intro to salsa class sophomore year while I was going through my arts phase and my hips do lie apparently. Number three, don’t go to the freshmen mixer.” Jaehyun groans. 

“Why?” Donghyuck asks. 

“If you value your life, you won’t do it.” Jaehyun shudders. “Johnny and I ended up getting super drunk and we accidentally kissed! Lucas wouldn’t let us live it down for two years after that.” 

“What?” Mark sits there, shocked. 

“Yeah, it was really awkward after that. Never again.” Jaehyun says. ”Just don’t go to the mixer. It’ll save you a lot of embarrassment in the long run.” 

“What else do you have to say about college, oh wise one?” Donghyuck says. 

“Just stay out of trouble.” Jaehyun takes another bite of his toast. “If you know what’s good for you. Don’t drink whatever the seniors try to give you, don’t skip class, don’t wait until the last minute to write your midterm essay. Actually, there are a lot of don’ts.” 

“Got it, don’t do anything fun. Don’t completely ruin your sleep schedule, don’t become you.” Donghyuck says. 

“You could put it that way.” Jaehyun sighs. He turns back to his plate while Donghyuck only scowls. 

Mark feels the tension thickening in the air, which is awkward for two reasons. First, it means Mark feels out of place. Second, Mark doesn’t want to be caught up in a fight between his boyfriend in his boyfriend’s older brother. 

“I should probably go home.” Mark says, breaking the intense silence. “Johnny’s probably expecting me.” 

“See you around then.” Jaehyun smiles. 

“Give me a kiss before you go!” Donghyuck demands. Mark rolls his eyes, but nonetheless, satisfies his boyfriend’s endless need for attention with a chaste peck on the lips. He’s sure he hears Jaehyun groan in the background. 

\--- 

When he finally gets back home, Johnny is lounging around on the couch, looking like he’s barely even breathing. 

“Hey.” Mark slides his jacket off his shoulders. 

Johnny semi-audibly groans. 

“You good?” Mark jumps onto the couch. 

“Nah.” Johnny lets his head hang down. 

“Why?” 

“You wouldn’t understand .” Johnny clicks his tongue, turning over on the couch. 

“Oh yeah,” Mark pauses, “try me.” 

“You ever… liked someone?” Johnny starts. 

“Well, yeah.” Mark shruggs. “I have a boyfriend, I kinda had to like him first before we got together. I mean, it’s kinda part of the whole deal of _ being _ in a relationship.”

“I didn’t finish what I was saying. I mean, like… you liked someone a lot and you’re sure that they don’t like you back.” Johnny blurts out. 

“Hmm… that’s pretty rough.” Mark sighs. “I don’t know. I’m the worst person to ask about this type of stuff.” 

“Yeah, you really _ are _ the worst.” Johnny rolls his eyes. “Nevermind. I should’ve never asked.” 

“Gee, thanks, grumpy pants.” Mark says. “Come on, you’d better tell me who it is otherwise I’m just gonna pry it out of you anyway.” 

“Mark.” Johnny whines. 

“Come on John, spill the beans.” Mark crosses his arms over his chest. “Or as Donghyuck says, _ spill the tea _.” 

“Ew.” Johnny reels back in horror. “Never. Ever. Say that again. That was literally the grossest thing I’ve ever heard you say, and I knew you when you were 12 years old.” He adds in a couple gagging noises for effect. 

“Stop it, asshole!” Mark pouts. “I was going through my hypebeast phase, okay.” 

“The mirror selfies!” Johnny giggles. “And your side swept bangs! You looked like a gremlin.” 

“I could say the same about you.” Mark protests. “Remember your emo phase?” 

“Don’t remind me.” Johnny frowns.

“You had the My Chemical Romance t-shirt, and the really tight skinny jeans. And your fingerless gloves. Your hair was such a disaster. Priceless.” Mark wipes a little bit of a tear from his eye.

“Listen, stop making fun of me if you want me to… _ spill the tea _.” Johnny sighs. 

“It sounds just as gross when you say it.” Mark shudders. “Maybe we should only leave it for the twinks.” 

“Sounds like a good plan.” Johnny nods. “Now, back to what I was saying."

“Right.” Mark says. “You have a crush on a girl and you’re totally enamored but you’re pretty sure she doesn’t like you back.”

“Well, that’s mostly true.” Johnny lowers his head.

“What do you mean, mostly true?” 

“You got most of the story right, but mixed up a few parts.” 

“What do you mean?” Mark raises an eyebrow. 

“I like _ someone… _” Johnny tries his best to hide from Mark’s gaze. There's a pregnant pause between them. 

“Oh…” Mark quips. “Oh… oh! Holy shit! My brother’s gay!” 

“I’m not _ gay _, per say.” Johnny adds in. 

“Wait, who are you gay for?” Mark says. “When did you realize you were gay? Are you like, full gay, or only a little, or-” 

“Dude, that’s too many questions.” Johnny shakes his head. “I- I can’t believe I’m actually saying this- I like…” 

“Say it!” Mark is almost tearing his hair out. 

“Jaehyun!” Johnny lets it all out in one exaggerated sigh. “I like Jaehyun.” 

“Wait, really?” Mark raises both of his eyebrows

“What do you mean, _ really _ ?” Johnny questions. 

“I didn’t think you’d be into Jaehyun.” 

“I can be into many different types of people, Mark.” Johnny says. 

“I would’ve liked that barista at the campus coffee shop you were always talking about.” Mark shrugs. 

“You mean Ten? Yeah, he’s cute and all, but not my type.” 

“Ah-hah! You said he’s cute! You’re totally super gay.” Mark claps his hands together. His brother being gay is truly a win for the gays. 

“Can we just stop talking about this?” Johnny shakes his head. “It’s totally embarrassing talking to my kid brother about my sudden gay feelings.”  



	4. The Problems with Neo Culture University, According to Jaehyun

The thing about being Jaehyun is that everything just seems to go wrong. Now, obviously, lacking context, this makes no sense. 

But it really starts with a certain boy named Johnny. He’s dreamy, a real heart-throb of a boy with messy brown hair crowning his head, deep brown eyes, and plush coral lips that Jaehyun always sees when he closes his eyes. So, he likes Johnny Suh. He’s not in love, because love is a lot different. Love isn’t for Jaehyun. Besides, Johnny’s brother is dating Donghyuck. Imagine how awkward date night would be! Jaehyun always shudders just thinking about it. But, he can never shake the image of Johnny cuddling with him out of his conscience. Whatever, he can live with his gay fantasies. 

Besides, Johnny is totally and utterly straight. Straight like an arrow. All upright and gettin’ it up only for the girls. And god, if Johnny’s for the girls, than the girls sure are lucky motherfuckers. 

So here he is again, for the fourth year in a row, standing in front of the Neo Culture University campus. It’s like an old shitty friend, at least this year he’s getting more out of it than debt. He’s getting his diploma, a bachelor’s degree in business, to start working in the “real world”. It’s a pretty bad trade. Debt and stress for a stupid little piece of paper. 

Even though it’s cliche, he wants to make the most of his senior year. That includes getting drunk out of his fucking mind, graduating by the skin of his teeth, and getting rid of his pesky little crush on a certain Johnny. 

It’s move in day, so all of his belongings are scattered around his new dorm room or in cardboard boxes. Somehow, he imagined dorm life to be a little more glamorous than usual. However, it’s still the same cramped little dorm with an unusually stained carpet, two wooden desks, and two beds on either side of the room. His boxes are currently stacked in the corner, but he’s too lazy to open them up. He’s more worried about the roommates he’s getting. 

His first roommate, freshman year, was Sicheng. He was an exchange student from China, super handsome and super loaded. He had the face of an actor that Jaehyun would only see in his mom’s soap opera shows. Beautiful eyes hooded by long lashes, plump lips, a skinny yet muscular figure, and mile long legs. Perhaps this is where Jaehyun’s gayness started, though the world may never know. Along with his devilish good looks, his wallet was filled with fat stacks of cash. He was nice. Sicheng did get Jaehyun a really nice watch for Christmas and Jaehyun had no room to complain about his dorm behavior. He was never really around, always chilling at other people’s dorms or sleeping around. It’s a miracle he even passed Freshman year. 

His second roommate, Doyoung, was anything but Sicheng. He was way more studious, whiny, and totally had a stick shoved way up his ass (among other things). It seemed like everyday, Doyoung was yelling at him for something so ridiculously asinine. Like the time that Jaehyun left a condom package on the floor and Doyoung started screeching about how it “wasn’t appropriate for a school environment”. Although, he’s pretty sure he saw Doyoung making out with one of the dance majors that works as a barista, aforementioned barIsta with a hand down Doyoung’s pants. Or maybe that was just one of his weird fever dreams. He’s never quite sure. 

His last roommate, Yuta, was nothing like the other two. He was chill, enough to the point that he would smoke weed in the dorms and give Jaehyun some. He was also an activist, which meant he would go down to the university square every Saturday and scream about saving the turtles or the socioeconomic disadvantages placed on the middle and lower class. Jaehyun attended a couple of his rallies, holding signs that Yuta would shove into his hands. It wasn’t all that bad, after all. It was a way to kill a couple hours on a Saturday. And Yuta did get the administration to install a water fountain that could be used to refill bottles. The only thing that bothered him about Yuta was the fact that Yuta would always bring his hookups back to the dorm room. It was really awkward every time he would walk in and he would hear really loud panting and moaning. He even saw Sicheng under Yuta once, which was infinitely more awkward. Jaehyun’s pretty sure Yuta was yelling at Sicheng a couple days before because of his “rampant consumerism” and “capitalist mindset”. 

Hopefully, this year won’t be bad. He’s praying he doesn’t get stuck with any of his old roommates. Maybe he’ll get lucky. 

The door swings open with a loud bang and suddenly, who Jaehyun assumes to be his roommate appears. His face is obstructed by an oversized cardboard box. 

“Is this room C-127?” A meek voice says. 

“Yeah.” Jaehyun replies.

“Hi there.” The stranger sticks out a hand for a shake, even though he’s still holding the cardboard box in front of him. “I’m Taeyong.”

“Jaehyun.”

“Nice to meet you!” Taeyong finally puts down the box, exposing his face to the world. He’s kind of cute. Big wide eyes, pinkish lips, shiny smile, all framed with pink hair. He’s stuck with another gay, he presumes.

“Uh huh.” 

“What’s your major?” Taeyong starts rummaging around through his box, picking out little trinkets. 

“I’m majoring in business but I have a minor in economics.” 

“I’m a dance major.” Taeyong smiles again. 

\--- 

By the time Taeyong is done decorating, about three hours later, his side of the room is swathed in pink and all types of cute things. His bed is covered in a huge white comforter, fifteen different throw pillows, and a pile of blankets. Taeyong moves onto the desk, which is slowly but surely turning into a pink cotton candy wonderland. Jaehyun’s side is much more subdued, with a navy blue bedspread and a few photos hung up on the wall. 

His phone dings. 

Johnny: 

**you wanna hang out at my dorm room?? Yuta brought over some beer and shit. **

You: 

**sure.**

Jaehyun shoves his phone in his pocket, grabs his keys, and leaves the room. He hopes that by the time he comes back, Taeyong hasn’t turned the room into some kind of real life candy land. 

Johnny’s only a couple rooms down, so it isn’t hard to find. He knocks on C-120 and is greeted by an already half drunk Yuta. 

“Eyy! Jaehyun!” Yuta laughs. 

“Hey.” Jaehyun grins. 

“You wanna fuckin beer buddy?” Yuta says. 

“Sure.” Jaehyun shrugs slightly. 

“Catch.” Yuta’s beer goggles, along with his terrible hand-eye coordination, make it infinitely more difficult and dangerous for him to throw the can. Good thing Jaehyun can catch pretty well.

He pops open the tab, gulping down a swing of beer. 

“Hey dude.” Johnny smiles, drinking from his own can while sitting on the top of his lofted bed. 

“Hey, John.” 

“How’s your roommate?” He asks. 

“He’s fine, just a little weird. He’s currently in the process of covering our room in all of this pink fluffy shit.” Jaehyun rolls his eyes. 

“Could be worse.” Johnny takes another sip. “You could have another Doyoung on your hands.” 

“Please don’t remind me.” Jaehyun groans. 

They chat for a while longer, until they get hungry and order a pizza. Half cheese, half pepperoni with barbecue sauce (Johnny’s favorite, Jaehyun already knows). Yuta leaves for a little bit, comes back slightly drunker, and probably a little higher than before and passes out on the bed, half falling off. 

“I should probably go back to my room.” Jaehyun whispers. 

“Yeah. Just try not to wake the sleeping demon.” Johnny chuckles. 

Jaehyun makes a break for the door, twisting the knob slightly and opening it up just enough to let himself out. There’s no way he’s waking up Yuta now. Last time that happened, it ended with a sleepy Yuta puncturing his foot on a piece of glass. And then a subsequent visit to the ER, a crying Yuta, a screaming Johnny, and a tired Jaehyun. 

He tiptoes back to his room, turning his key in the knob and slipping into the pitch black room only to be greeted by moaning and slapping noises. At least he knows exactly what kind of person Taeyong is. And that moment is also when he immediately runs out of the room, shuts the door, and marches back to Johnny’s room. 

“John.” Jaehyun rasps on the door. 

“What?” Johnny says, peaking his face out of the doorway. 

“Can I sleep here?” 

“Why?” Johnny raises an eyebrow. God, Jaehyun thinks, he looks hot when he does that. Nevermind. Don’t think about that. 

“Taeyong’s having sex in our room.” Jaehyun sighs. “It’s the first day, I can’t deal with that yet.” 

“Yeah, come in.” Johnny shuts the door behind them. 

“I can just sleep on the floor. Not a problem.” 

“You’re not sleeping on the floor.” Johnny scoffs. “What kind of host would I be if I made you sleep on the floor?” 

“No really, John. It’s fine.” Jaehyun says. 

“Nah. You can just sleep on my bed, there’s enough space for the both of us.” Johnny shrugs. 

This makes Jaehyun’s little gay heart race in his chest. No, scratch that. His heart is racing in the Indy 500. 

“Okay.” Jaehyun accepts it, but he’s scared. Really scared. He’s sleeping with his crush. Or rather, they’re sleeping in the same bed. He’s not sleeping with Johnny. Not in that way. Not that he doesn’t want Johnny in that way. But- maybe he should just stop talking about it. 

“I have a hoodie you can borrow.” Johnny throws something at him. Jaehyun pulls the hoodie over his head and instantly, he feels small and comfortable. What the hell is Johnny doing to him? 

“Thanks.” 

“And some sweatpants.” 

“Thanks.” Jaehyun pulls those on too. 

“We should just...” Johnny starts. 

“Go to sleep.” 

“Right.” 

They both climb under the covers, trying to keep separate. It’s hard, because Johnny is right next to him and there’s nothing he wants more than to get a Jug (a Johnny hug). He’s resisting the urge. 

“Can I just-“ 

“Sure.” They adjust their positions. Johnny faces the wall and Jaehyun faces towards the other side of the room where Yuta is snoring away. 

Somehow, Jaehyun falls asleep.

—- 

When he wakes up, the sun is shinning through the windows. It projects onto the floor, creating rainbow streaks on the floor. Jaehyun thinks it’s a cruel twist of fate. He shifts around a little bit in the bed. There’s something around his waist, he figures it’s just tangled bedsheets or something. But no. 

It’s Johnny’s arms, Johnny’s arms are wrapped around his waist. And god, Jaehyun kind of likes it. Or rather, he likes it a lot. He cuddles into Johnny’s touch, which is warm and sweet, and tries to close his eyes again. 

Johnny groans and Jaehyun feels him raise his head. 

“Shit.” Johnny whispers. Jaehyun sighs internally and gets up too. “I’m sorry.” 

“About what?” Jaehyun decides to play dumb. 

“The whole hand on waist thing.” Johnny whimpers. “I just kinda do that when I sleep with people.” 

“Nah.” Jaehyun hopes he isn’t sweating. “It’s totally fine, dude. No problem.” 

“Usually people aren’t very comfortable with being touched, especially guys.” Johnny says. 

“We can just keep this between us then.” Jaehyun glups. “It’s a bro thing.” 

“Yeah, a bro thing.” Johnny sticks out his fist for a fist bump. Jaehyun bumps it back. He wishes he kissed him instead. 

\--- 

“Spill the tea, sis.” Donghyuck turns around in his desk chair. 

“Can you please not say it like that.” Jaehyun rolls his eyes. 

“Seriously, this is major tea!” Donghyuck grins. “Spill!” 

“Fine.” Jaehyun groans. “It has to do with... Johnny.” 

“Right.” 

“Are you sure your roommate should hear about my boy problems?” Jaehyun points to the short kid sitting on his bed, laptop two inches away from his face. 

“Oh, Renjun?” Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. “He won’t mind. He’s gay, too! Isn’t that right Renjun?” 

Renjun sticks up the middle finger at his roommate. 

“Thanks, Jun.” Donghyuck smiles. “Such a sweetheart. His two boyfriends, I’m sorry- friends- have been slipping in here all the time.” 

“Donghyuck!” Renjun whines. 

“But that’s besides the point.” Donghyuck focuses his eyes on Jaehyun’s very scared ones. “Spill.” 

“So, my roommate was having a hookup, right. So I stayed in Johnny’s room for the night and we slept in the same bed...” 

“And what! What happened!” Donghyuck’s giddy, shaking in his seat. 

“I woke up and... his arms were wrapped around my waist.” Jaehyun sighs. 

A chorus of Ooo’s and Ahh’s come from the two boys beside him. 

“Oh my gosh!” Donghyuck gushes. “That totally means he likes you!” 

“No it doesn’t!” Jaehyun panics. “He said it was a bro thing.”

“Jaehyun, he’s totally lying.” 

“Yeah, it sounds like he really likes you.” Renjun pipes up. 

“Listen, he can’t like me!” Jaehyun says incredulously. “It’s seriously against the rules of everything.” 

“What rules?” Donghyuck laughs. 

“That Johnny is a total straight dude.” 

“Hmmm... I don’t know.” Donghyuck shrugs. “It seems like he could be gay. He acts too cute to not be at least bi.” 

“I don’t know him, but I gotta say, if you’re wrapping your arms around your bro’s waist... that seems a little gay.” Renjun nods. 

“Listen, you guys are thinking too far into it.” Jaehyun says. “It was just a little touching between friends.” 

“Maybe it has a bit of gay subtext.” Donghyuck taps a finger to his chin. “Perhaps he’s letting you know, subtly.”

“Donghyuck, I’m sure that’s not the answer.” Jaehyun shakes his head. 

There is absolutely, positively no way that Johnny likes him back. 

“You should try confessing your feelings.” Renjun adds.

“What? No! That’d totally ruin our friendship.” Jaehyun sighs. 

And there’s no fucking way he’s confessing to Johnny either.   
  



	5. The Problems with Falling in Love, According to Donghyuck

So far, Neo Culture University isn’t anything more than a slightly drunker version of college. It’s only been a couple of weeks into classes and Donghyuck’s already over it. Totally and utterly over it. God, he needs a break. His only real solace so far have been the nights where Mark sleeps over and Renjun leaves to his friends’ (boyfriends’) dorm room, leaving Mark and Donghyuck to their devices. Nothing better a quickie on a twin bed. 

However, he’s just happy to be able to see Mark every day. He wouldn’t survive if he couldn’t hug and kiss his boyfriend. He just loves Mark too much. Speaking of Mark, he should tell him about the major tea Jaehyun just spilled. 

You:   
Babe

Babe 

Babe 

Call meeeee 

Mark:   
Y 

You:  
Do it loser 

Mark:   
Fine 

His phone lights up with the name of his favorite person in the world. 

“What’s up?” Mark’s voice crackles through the phone. 

“I gotta tell you something.” Donghyuck says. 

“Uh huh.” 

“You know how I had that hunch about my brother having a crush?” 

“Donghyuck.” Mark sighs. “You didn’t.” 

“Listen, I didn’t force it out of him! He said it himself.” Donghyuck whines. “Soo… Take a guess.” 

“I don’t know.” Mark clicks his tongue. “Some girl in his class?” 

“Noooo.” Donghyuck paces around the room. “Starts with a J.” 

“That’s not very distinctive, Hyuck.” Mark says. “There’s a bunch of people who have names that start with J.” 

“Just think about it for a second.” 

“Oh.” Mark pauses. “Oh!” 

“What does ‘oh’ mean?” Donghyuck scoffs. 

“Is it Jungwoo?”

“No, dumbass!” Donghyuck sighs, exasperated. “It’s Johnny.” 

“Really?” 

“What’s with the ‘really’? Yes really.” 

“It’s just-“ Mark pauses. “It’s nothing.” 

“Well it’s something.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes. He’s sure Mark can hear his sass through the phone. “Come on, tell me.” 

“No. I gotta keep my bro code vows.” Mark says firmly. 

“Markie- Please!” 

“Why am I so weak for you?” Mark sighs. “Would you believe it if I told you... that Johnny has a crush on Jaehyun.” 

“Wait, what?” 

\--- 

Three days after the phone call, they’re sitting in the dining hall, feasting on a meal of soggy tater tots and a rather depressing looking salad. Donghyuck thinks it represents his emotions during the duration of this semester quite well. 

“So the plan is to get our brothers together.” Mark clasps his hands together. 

“Uh huh.” Donghyuck sighs. “We’ve been over this like… fifteen times.” 

“I’m just trying to process it.” Mark picks at his tater tot. “Why are we doing this again?” 

“So they can finally realize their secret gay feelings for each other, duh!” 

“What did you call me here for again?” Mark raises an eyebrow. 

“Just to have a nice dinner with my wonderful, amazing, and dashingly handsome boyfriend.” Donghyuck turns up the charm to an 11. 

“You never say that many complements in a row. What’s up with you?” Mark laughs. 

“I’m insulted.” Donghyuck slaps his hand over his chest dramatically. 

“About what?” Mark says. “You think about a lot of things.” 

“Yeah, like getting into your pants.” Donghyuck whispers. 

“What was that?” Mark totally heard him. “We can have sex later if you really want.” 

“I’ll take you up on that offer.” Donghyuck grins. “However, I’m not here to talk about your raging lust for yours truly.” 

“What, then?” Mark says. 

“Johnny. Jaehyun.” Donghyuck says cautiously. “We need to get them together.” 

“First of all, how are we gonna do that?” Mark pops a soggy tot in his mouth. 

“We get them to ask each other out.” 

“No way, Hyuck. It’s not gonna happen.” Mark shakes his head. 

“Why?” Donghyuck shines. 

“Both of our brothers are too fragile to do that. They probably don’t even realize that they both like each other.” Mark sighs. 

“Wait.” Donghyuck furrows his brows. “I got it! We set them up on a blind date.” 

“How is that- oh!” Mark’s eyes light up. “You’re a genius, Hyuck!” He plants a sloppy little kiss on Donghyuck’s cheek. 

“How about this Friday. You tell Johnny you set him up on a blind date and then I tell Jaehyun.” Donghyuck plasters on a mischievous grin. “It’s the perfect plan.” 

He send Jaehyun a quick text and slips his phone back into his pocket.   
\--- 

Donghyuck groans, face down in his pillow. 

“Mark, get on with it!” He says, muffled by the fabric of his pillow. 

“It’s called foreplay.” Mark sighs, giving Donghyuck a light slap on the ass. 

“I want your-“ There’s an aggressive knock on the door. “Fuck.” Donghyuck flips himself over, immediately grabbing for his pants. He shimmies around the room, pulling his skinny jeans up his ankles until he’s decent enough. Mark’s panicking too, trying to pull on his hoodie and his belt at the same time. 

“Donghyuck!” The voice is distinct and highly annoying, it can only be one person. 

“What, asshole?” He screams in reply. 

“What are you doing in there?” 

“None of your beeswax, dickwad.” Donghyuck screeches. 

“God, you’re so insufferable. Just open the door.” Jaehyun fumbles around with the lock again. 

“I’m getting to it, Jesus!” Donghyuck slams the door open, letting it hit the door frame violently. 

“Why did you make me come over here. I’m not having an orgy with you or anything-“ 

“Ew! What the fuck?” Donghyuck reels back. “I just wanted to tell you something.” 

“Well, get on with it.” Jaehyun sits down on one of the desk chairs. Donghyuck is sure he hears Mark giggle.

“I set you up on a blind date on Friday.” Donghyuck leans into the bed, ready for a barrage of insults. 

“What?” Jaehyun scoffs. 

“I thought you were lonely.” 

“I have things to do! You can’t just set me up on dates with people and expect me to bow down in submission.” Jaehyun says. “You’re seriously ridiculous.”


	6. The Problems with Blind Dates, According to Johnny

Johnny rakes a hand through his hair. He observes himself in the mirror for a moment, just tugging at a stray shirt button and trying to hide his dark circles. He’s nervous. He doesn’t really know why, because this date isn’t a major thing. On the contrary, it’s a blind date Mark set him up on. It’s bound to be a disaster.

Mark’s reason for setting him up on a blind date was undoubtedly asinine. He said it was because Johnny is “lonely and antisocial.” To be completely honest, Johnny doesn’t mind it that way. His words, and Johnny quotes, were “Come on, bro, it’ll be fine, you gotta get yourself out there! Test the dating pool waters at Neo Culture University!” 

“Fuck it.” Johnny whispers to his own reflection. “Johnny, you can do this.” He inhales deeply. “You are a man. This is just a blind date.” 

He’s really trying to convince himself. It’s not working too great. Whatever. Johnny sighs, takes one last look at himself in the mirror, and shuts the light off. 

\--- 

It’s seven on the dot when Johnny pulls up to the Olive Garden parking lot (of course Mark picked the most generic date place, his romance skills are totally unrivaled). It’s pretty empty, mostly because no one around here goes to Olive Garden. He parks the Audi, thankfully leaving it behind, and enters the restaurant. It has that distinct Olive Garden feel. The hostess leans on the podium and chews violently on her gum. She looks tired and fed up. Her name tag reads Yerim. 

“I’m waiting for someone... Are they here yet?” Johnny says. 

“Well, who are you waiting for?” Yerim rolls her eyes. 

“I don’t know, I’m on a blind date.” 

“Oh. He’s right over there then.” Yerim points to a table in the back. “He’s been there for like twenty minutes now.” 

“Thanks.” Johnny walks toward the back. 

The person is sitting there, pink button down shirt, fluffy brown hair. He’s currently trying to balance a spoon on his nose, but to no avail. It’s Jaehyun. His blind date is Jaehyun. Johnny almost dies on the spot. Mark set him up on a blind date with Jaehyun of all people. That sneaky mastermind. Johnny looks down at Jaehyun, who hasn’t even noticed his existence. 

“Hey, Jae.” Johnny slips into the seat on the opposite side of the table. Jaehyun’s spoon clatters onto the plate. 

“Hey.” Jaehyun says shakily. Johnny sees him gulp. “What are you doing here?” 

“I guess you’re my date.” Johnny smiles, trying to hide his nerves. He’s not sure if it’s working or not, but Jaehyun seems to be doing the same thing. 

“I’m gonna fucking kill you Donghyuck.” Jaehyun whispers. “I can’t believe my brother. He set me up on a blind date with my best friend of all people. Silly kid.” 

“Yeah, Mark set me up with you.” Johnny rolls his eyes. “He’s really desperate for us to get together, I guess.” 

“Yeah.” Jaehyun bites on his lip. Johnny knows he’s holding something back, but he doesn’t push further into it. 

“So,” Johnny starts, “I know you probably don’t want to be on this date... but at least we get unlimited breadsticks!” 

“That’s what I was thinking.” Jaehyun smiles slightly. 

“Remember that time we snuck into an Olive Garden and stole the breadsticks?” Johnny says. 

“Yeah.” Jaehyun shakes his head. “And I also remember you trying to jump the hedges, getting caught by your belt loop, and the manager catching up to you.” 

“Doesn’t matter.” Johnny clicks his tongue. “I still got my breadsticks.” 

“You wanna try it again?” Jaehyun quiets his voice. 

“What, stealing the breadsticks?” Johnny raises an eyebrow. “Sure. I’m up for another Olive Garden misdemeanor.” 

They both grab for a breadstick from the basket on the table, letting their hands brush against each other. Johnny swears he feels his heart skip a beat. He tears his hand away, shoving a breadstick in his mouth and trying not to pay attention to the tears pricking at his vision. Jaehyun raises a brow, and then takes a quick bite of his own breadstick. Johnny sighs internally. 

“Besides the breadsticks, it’s pretty cool that we can just spend time… alone.” Jaehyun says. 

“Yeah, no drunk Yuta to pull around.” Johnny adds. 

“It’s kinda nice.” Jaehyun shrugs. 

“I guess so.” Johnny bites on his lip, trying to hold his tongue. “So, how’s our date so far?” 

“Good.” Jaehyun pauses. “I know it’s just a joke and shit, but whoever you end up dating is lucky.” 

“Thanks.” Johnny responds, not really knowing what else to say. “Jaehyun.” 

“Yeah?” Jaehyun says, looking alert. 

“I uh-” Johnny panics, “what are you ordering?” 

“Oh.” Jaehyun deflates. “I don’t know.” 

“Me neither.” Johnny tries to keep the conversation alive.

“Hey, Johnny. I wanted to let you know-” Jaehyun sighs. 

“What’s up?” 

“It’s really nothing.” Jaehyun shakes his head. 

“Look, we can just steal the breadsticks and go if you really want to.” Johnny whispers, leaving over the table just slightly. He hears Jaehyun’s breathing become just a little raspy. God, it’s fucking addictive.

“Sounds good.” Jaehyun replies. “I’m kinda broke anyway. Not that I can even eat these.” 

“Right, you’re vegan now. Well whatever. Nothing could make my Saturday night better than having the honor of stealing Olive Garden breadsticks with the Jung Jaehyun himself.” Johnny grins. “Now, come on, stuff the sticks in your jean pockets and let’s blow this popsicle stand.” 

Johnny shoves a few oily breadsticks down his back pocket, trying to make them look less greasy and lumpy. He doesn’t know what he expected, because there’s no possible way these goddamned breadsticks are going to look anywhere near inconspicuous. Jaehyun laughs at his efforts. It’s a hearty Jaehyun laugh, with cute little squeaks and a baritone giggle that makes Johnny’s heart melt into a pile of slimy goop. 

“Come on, dude!” Johnny sticks a breadstick in his dress shirt pocket, ruining the blue pinstripes of his dress shirt with buttery smears. “We don’t have all day!” 

“You’re such an idiot.” Jaehyun says playfully. while he plucks a couple more breadsticks from the basket. 

Johnny hides another breadstick, this time in his shirt collar, and decides that it’s probably time to give Olive Garden a break from breadstick thievery. 

“Auto bots, roll out.” Johnny makes a bee line for the door, weaving between the tables of distracted diners. Jaehyun follows not far behind, barreling over in laughter with a breadstick tucked into his fist. 

Yerim pays them no attention as they walk towards her, she just rolls herr eyes and smacking louder on her gum. 

“Have a good night!” Johnny calls out. 

“Whatever.” She replies, watching the door shut behind them before turning back to the hostess podium. 

Johnny unlocks the Audi and hops inside, motioning for Jaehyun to do the same. Jaehyun giggles as he climbs in. 

“I feel alive.” Jaehyun exhales. 

“Me too.” Johnny says as he pulls out of the parking lot and down the main road.

“We haven’t done shit like that in a while.” Jaehyun turns over in his seat, facing Johnny. 

“What, like stealing breadsticks?” Johnny replies. “It’s been a while. We can do it more often if you really want.” 

“No, you idiot.” Jaehyun gives him a playful push. “I mean just hanging out together. Like we used to. It doesn’t even have to be considered a date or anything. It’s fucking around with my best friend.” 

Johnny almost sobs right there on the spot. Johnny wants it to be a date. He wants so badly to kiss Jaehyun. To touch him and love him in ways best friends shouldn’t. God, he needs a drink. 

“You wanna get some wine and drink it straight from the bottle?” Johnny says. “I’ve been craving some white zin. You can come back to mine if you want.” 

“I could go for some boxed wine.” Jaehyun seems to hesitate. “Is Yuta gonna be there? We could watch a movie or something.” 

“Yuta’s at a party, I think. He’s doing that whole semi-protesting semi-partying thing he always does.” 

“Right.” Johnny sees Jaehyun bite his lip. “I guess it’ll just be us two. Alone.” 

“Yeah.” Johnny pulls into a liquor store parking lot. “Just us. Alone.” 

\---

Jaehyun is sitting on the hood of the Audi, holding a box of cheap wine above his head and turning the knob to let a little bit drip out at a time. Johnny is sitting next to him, looking up at the night sky and eating a breadstick from his shirt pocket. It’s deformed and gross looking, but Johnny still manages to eat it. 

“Nothing like boxed wine at midnight.” Jaehyun says, taking another gulp of the glorified grape juice. 

“Brings back memories to freshman year.” Johnny sighs. “Remember the first time you used your fake ID?” 

“Yeah, I still don’t know how we got away with that.” Jaehyun laughs. “I was so nervous.”

“You were literally shaking as you handed it to the cashier. He was either blind or an idiot, there’s no way that ID looked real.” Johnny says. 

“You’re telling me.” Jaehyun rolls his eyes. “I don’t even remember where I got it. Pretty sure it was that one guy from that freshman mixer frat party.” 

“Taeil? Yeah, probably, I got one from him too.” Johnny grabs for the box of wine. 

“He named me Juan Cuaderno.” Jaehyun says. “That man literally named me Juan notebook.” 

“Listen, you gotta do what you gotta do, Juan Cuaderno.” Johnny giggles through his words. The air between them is silent for a moment. “You wanna come back to my place?” 

Jaehyun bites his lip, swallowing his tongue for just a moment before replying.

“Sure.” Jaehyun shrugs. “We can just-“ 

“Yeah we can chill and-“ 

“We can just hang out.” Jaehyun finishes. 

\--- 

Johnny opens his form room to two empty beds and the light switched off. They’re totally and utterly alone. Together. Johnny’s stomach sinks to his feet but his heart feels like it’s pumping in his throat. 

“Get yourself comfortable, I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” Johnny speeds over to the bathroom and shuts the door behind himself with an eardrum shattering bang. 

Fuck, he’s so nervous. He looks at himself in the mirror, fussing with his hair and his shirt collar. He’s kinda sweaty at this point, so he haphazardly swipes on some deodorant and sprays himself in cologne. He hopes it’s enough to mask any sweat and desperation. He shouldn’t even be this nervous. Jaehyun’s been to his dorm room a million times, probably more than that. They’ve been alone together before, why is it now such a major deal? Johnny holds into the doorknob, closing his eyes and telling himself it’s going to be okay. Jaehyun is just a boy. He’s just a friend... that Johnny likes romantically and wants to kiss so badly it literally hurts. He twists the knob and walks back into the room, where Jaehyun is sitting on Johnny’s bed, scrolling through his phone and drinking his boxed wine in one of Johnny’s plastic cups that he keeps on the mini fridge. 

“I stole a cup.” Jaehyun takes another sip, letting the wine pass through his plump lips that Johnny so badly wants to kiss. 

“That’s fine.” Johnny grabs for one himself, filling the cup 3/4 of the way. He really needs this. He gulps down half of the cup’s contents and sits down on the lofted bed. 

“So,” Jaehyun throws his phone on Johnny’s pillow, “our date was pretty fun.” 

“Yeah, we committed a minor misdemeanor, got some boxed wine with our actual IDs, and here we are, just chillin,” Johnny replies. 

“When you put it like that, it does sound a little lame.” Jaehyun gulps down more of his wine. 

“It’s not lame!” Johnny exclaims. “If it were any more eventful, we’d either be blackout drunk or in a holding cell.”

“That’s true.” Jaehyun says. “I enjoyed being together.” 

Johnny’s heart skips a beat. 

“Me too. We should do this again.” Johnny whispers. 

“Like hanging out?” Jaehyun says. 

“Like a date.” Johnny lowers his head. 

“Sure.” Jaehyun whispers back. He shimmies his hand across the bed sheets, caressing Johnny’s fingers with his own. 

“I-“ Johnny intertwines their hands, face glowing red with embarrassment. He feels the heat spreading across his cheeks like a fierce wildfire. 

“I mean, we can go on dates a lot.” Jaehyun pauses. “If you really want.” 

“Yeah. I’d like to. I’d like to a lot.” Johnny’s voice grows quieter by the word. “What do you think about kissing on the first date?” 

“I’m open to it.” Jaehyun shrugs. 

Johnny pushes him down on the bed, hovering over Jaehyun’s pinkish toned face. Jaehyun just grins a huge smile from ear to ear. Jaehyun and his extreme boyish charms are ruining Johnny. Johnny feels his breath get caught in his throat. His breathing is erratic, his heart is beating so fast he can’t even feel it pumping, and his hands are clammy. Johnny leans down, it feels like it’s almost in slow motion. He’s inching closer, only millimeters away from the sweet release of Jaehyun’s lips when he hears a booming ringing noise fills the room. Fuck. 

It’s the fire alarm. Jaehyun accidentally rams his head into Johnny’s, they bang into each other and immediately reel back in pain. 

“What the fuck?” Jaehyun holds a palm over his forehead, hissing in pain. 

“Some dick head probably pulled the alarm.” Johnny says. God, his forehead is already throbbing. 

“We should probably go outside.” Jaehyun replies. 

“Yeah.” Johnny runs out of the room, almost bumping into a wall and tripping over the edge of his bed. He wants to murder whatever or whoever set off that fire alarm. He was so close to kissing Jaehyun. Nearly an inch away from the lips he’s been lusting after for so long. Now, he’s racing out of the dorm building, palm on his throbbing forehead and with little droplets of tears in his eyes. They bust open the front door, running into the parking lot and standing there. Jaehyun steps away from Johnny.

“Hey guys!” Yuta comes sauntering over, totally drunk off his ass. “What’s up?” 

“Nothing, Yuta.” Johnny sighs. 

“Good.” He hiccups. “Why are you here?” 

“The fire alarm went off. Can’t you hear it?” Johnny says. The sound of the alarm is almost deafening. Yuta’s gotta be piss drunk if he’s not hearing it.

“Dude, I’m three tequila shots and four Coors Lights in.” Yuta slurs. “I can’t hear much. Or see much. Or feel much. At this point I’m hoping I don’t have alcohol poisoning or something.” 

“How have you not thrown up yet? Your tolerance is usually pretty low.” Johnny raises an eyebrow. 

“That’s kinda why I came back. I figured, better to spill my guts in my own toilet than at one of those devil toilets at the frat house. So Lucas walked me back here, which didn’t even help because both of us were drunk as hell.” Yuta pauses. “You know... maybe he pulled the alarm. Whatever-“ 

Yuta leans over, clutching his stomach, as he spills his guts on the pavement. Or rather, all over Johnny’s shoes and his best pair of pants. 

“Sorry man.” Yuta roughly wipes at the sides of his mouth. 

“Fuck!” Johnny screams out into the night. He doesn’t care who hears him. 

Eventually, the fire truck shows up, the firemen turn off the alarm, and everyone is sent to their dorm rooms. Jaehyun runs immediately, losing Johnny amongst the crowd of disgruntled college students. Johnny tries to catch him, but it’s too late. 

Johnny ends his night by taking a deep cleansing shower (along with throwing away his shoes and his socks), lying in bed and sobbing his eyes out.


	7. The Problems With Falling in Love, According to Mark

Falling in love is a terribly trivial thing. However, for Mark, love is his life. He loves Donghyuck. And Donghyuck truly loves him. That just seems to be how it’s been for eternity. Even here, as Donghyuck is simply napping on his lap, he’s drowning in love. It’s a warm feeling that makes his heart go ba-bump and his cheeks turn flushed. 

He sees it in Johnny. He sees how Johnny looks at Jaehyun, with those wide, longing eyes. He’s always seen it. But he didn’t think his brother was in love with Jaehyun. He hopes the date went well. Both for the sake of his brother and for his own wingman skills. 

However, he could care less about the two of them right now, because he has his world in his lap. And nothing could be better than that. 

\--- 

Mark wakes up at noon on Saturday to the sound of his phone blaring. He slaps his hand around on the bedside table, trying to reach for his phone. He pulls it up to his face, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. It’s Johnny. 

“What do you want?” Mark groans. 

“ _ You sound totally trashed _ .” Johnny’s voice comes slightly muffled through the phone. 

“Well, I did just wake up,” Mark says. “All thanks to you calling me.” 

“ _ Whatever _ .” Johnny sighs. “ _ Listen, can you be at my dorm in like… thirty minutes _ ?” 

“For what?” Mark rolls around in bed. 

“ _ I’ll tell you when you get here. If I tell you now, you’ll make fun of me for the rest of my life. _ ” Johnny says. “ _ And I’m not exactly in the mood to be mocked _ .” 

“Fine.” Mark heaves himself out of bed, legs heavy as lead. 

\--- 

“So, what do you want from me?” Mark jumps on top of Yuta’s bed, wrinkling the sheets. Johnny rises up from his sheets, eyes red, hair tousled messily, a huge purplish bruise on his forehead, and a frown painted across his face. 

“That date was a fucking disaster. Not only did I make a fool of myself, but I’m pretty sure I lost Jaehyun as my best friend, let alone my chances of being his boyfriend.” Johnny chokes up. 

“Suck it up buttercup.” Mark shrugs. “You’ll move on.” 

“Mark, you’re such a fucking prick. Don’t you have even an ounce of pity for your brother?” Johnny pouts. 

“Not really,” Mark says indifferently. “I’m sure you’re just overreacting.” 

“He’s avoiding me.” Johnny plunges himself back under the covers. 

“So?” Mark says. “If I were Jaehyun, I’d avoid you too.” 

“God, you’re such an asshole!” Johnny screams, muffled by the covers. “He fucking blocked my number, my Instagram, my twitter, my Snapchat, my facebook-” 

“You’re such an old man, who even uses facebook?” Mark interrupts. 

“That’s besides the point.” Johnny sniffs. 

“So what is the point?” Mark remarks snarkily. 

“He’s avoiding me. He never stops by my room, I barely ever see him in the dining hall, and every time he’s hanging around campus and sees me, he runs away. Like deadass sprints away from me like I have the bubonic plague. What’s a boy supposed to do, wallow in pity?” 

“Win him back.” Mark says bluntly. 

“And how exactly am I supposed to do that, einstein?” Johnny replies sarcastically. Mark disregards the slight insult to his intelligence.

“I don’t know.” Mark clicks his tongue. “When ever Donghyuck gets mad at  _ me,  _ I buy him chocolate, write a cheesy love letter, and we make out. Works like a charm.” 

“The problem is, Jaehyun isn’t my boyfriend. How the hell am I supposed to apologize then?” Johnny says. “It’s not like I can just barge into his dorm room and demand to make out with him.” 

“I mean technically-” 

“You can’t just go around making out with people and shit, Mark! It’s pretty frowned upon.” 

“I was gonna say, you could try repairing your friendship. Who knows, maybe out of circumstance you’ll have to be together. You can just confess your true feelings then!” Mark grins. “Now, isn’t that a great plan.” 

“At this rate, I don’t think we’re gonna be friends until we’re six feet under. I’m not exactly excited for the prospect of a gay ghost relationship.” Johnny deadpans. 

“I don’t know what to tell you then.” Mark sits back in Yuta’s bed, which smells slightly of vodka and sex. “It’s either the afterlife or now, buddy. Take your pick.” 

“You’re so great at giving relationship advice.” Johnny grits through his teeth. 

“Thanks, bro. I try.” Mark takes a slight bow, rising up from Yuta’s gross bed. “I should probably go now, me and Donghyuck have a little date planned. We’re going to one of those ramen shops downtown. ” 

“Congrats on your thriving romance.” Johnny rolls his eyes. “I’ll just be here, crying, depressed as fuck because my crush probably hates me and I still have a stupid bruise on my head.” 

“You have fun with that.” Mark slips out of the room and texts Donghyuck. 

\--- 

You: 

**Where are u?**

Hyuck: 

**I’m almost there**

Mark pockets his phone and sits back in his bench. Donghyuck being Donghyuck, is taking a long ass time. 

“I’m here!” A shrill voice sing songs. Donghyuck. Mark looks up to see Donghyuck in all his glory. 

“What’s with the getup?” Mark hides a laugh. Donghyuck looks a bit ridiculous for something as simple as a ramen date. He’s wearing a black button down with shiny little gems on the collar, a tight pair of white jeans with a flair at the bottom (not that Mark’s complaining, they make Donghyuck’s ass look fucking fantastic), and the piece de resistance, a pair of faux snakeskin Chelsea boots. The only reason Mark knows what they’re called is because Donghyuck called him at midnight last week telling him about the “cutest pair of shoes” that he absolutely couldn’t stop thinking about.

“I don’t care where we’re going, I’m showing off these shoes!” Donghyuck does a little twirl. “Aren’t they gorgeous?”

“I mean, I don’t know much about shoes,” Mark looks down at his beaten up red converse. 

“Just say yes, Markie.” 

“Sure.” Mark smiles. Donghyuck may be extra and tiring, but Mark loves him like no one else. “They’re cool.” 

“Thanks Mark.” 

“How much did you pay for them?” Mark says. 

“Uhm...” Donghyuck pauses. “Unimportant. They were an impulse buy and I’m keeping them. I literally cannot love without these shoes.” 

“You lived without them before.” Mark shrugs. 

“Yeah, But it always felt like something was missing from my life! These shoes fill that gaping hole in my heart. Besides, I’m already wearing them so I can’t really return them now.” Donghyuck says.

“Wow, nice to know you hold me in your heart with a pair of shoes.” Mark rolls his eyes. 

“They’re really fucking cute, you’d never understand.” Donghyuck scoffs. Mark just acts further unamused. 

“So, are we walking downtown?” 

“Walking? No, I called us an Uber.” Donghyuck smiles. “No way I’m walking that far in these shoes.” 

“Hyuck!” Mark whines. “The whole point of shoes is to walk in them.” 

“And I will! I gotta break these bad boys in first.” Donghyuck replies. He clomps down the sidewalk, tottering around in his boots. “The Uber should be here any minute now.” 

“We really should think of some more cost effective dates.” Mark sighs. “My wallet is already suffering, I don’t need any more expenses. 

“Listen Mark, I think going to a quaint ramen shop downtown is a nice romantic date. It’s much more romantic than cup ramen while sitting next to your microwave, which we’ve also done a couple of times. So let your wallet cry out in distress as we eat some actual food.” Donghyuck has a point. Mark’s diet at this point consists mostly of ramen, tears, and coffee. It’s nice for them to have a romantic date, because Mark sure as hell knows they need that now, but his wallet is filled with dust and credit card debit. “Oh! Our steed has arrived!” 

A car pulls up to the curb. It’s a black Toyota with a blown out headlight and a scratch of silver down in the passenger side door. It looks a little dodgy, but Mark’s been in worse cars, so he doesn’t question it too much. 

\--- 

“It should be right around here.” Donghyuck says, looking around for their destination. The driver was nice enough, a young looking man with an all black ensemble and 80’s rock pumping through the radio. He hadn’t said a word since they had gotten in the car, and Mark considers that a pretty good sign, because he’s not exactly willing to have an awkward conversation with his Uber driver. 

“Uh huh.” The man mutters, taking a sharp turn in the other direction. 

“Dude!” Donghyuck says. “I said it was that way!” 

The woman keeps driving in the opposite direction. Mark feels his stomach drop to his feet. The car sails down the street, Turing into a narrow alley until Mark can’t see where he is any more. 

“What the fuck?” Mark exclaims, trying to climb out of his seat. 

“What’s going on here?” Donghyuck screeches, holding onto the seat for dear life as the car swerves through the streets of the city. The car only accelerates. 

“Can’t you see?” The man says. “This is a kidnapping.” 

It all seems to fade to black. 

—- 

“Mark!” Mark wakes up to Donghyuck brushing up against him. Was that all a dream? The floor is cold and hard beneath him. His head hangs down and his whole body is throbbing violently. He tries to get the words out, but his throat is too dry. 

After a few seconds of letting his head bob around, he picks it up, looking around. He’s in a dimly lit room with sprawling ceilings and a tiny fluorescent light hanging far above them. Yup. Not a dream. He forces a groan out. 

“Oh my god! You’re finally up!” Donghyuck exclaims. It sounds a bit distant to Mark. “I really thought you died.” 

“Nope, I’m just peachy Hyuck.” Mark replies, throat still dry like the Sahara desert. 

“You fainted while we were in the car.” Donghyuck says. “That guy tied us up and now we’re here, in this warehouse.” 

Mark didn’t even notice they were tied. He wrings his wrists around and feels the roughness of rope. Yup. Totally not a dream. 

“Did you try defending yourself?” 

“Well yeah. I kicked him one with my boot. But then he stole my shoes.” Donghyuck lets out a heavy sigh. “I’ll get that bastard back. No one messes with me and my Chelsea boots!” 

The door to the warehouse slides open vehemently. The man steps inside, still in his black ensemble, but this time with a black ski-mask, seemingly for added pizzazz. 

“Both of you are awake now?” The man’s tone is cold as ice. “Good. We can have some fun.” 

“Yeah! You know what would be really fun? Giving me my shoes back and untying us, you asshole!” Donghyuck kicks his heels against the concrete. 

“Not a problem.” The man says, walking languidly over to the two of them. “As long as you give me what I want first.” 

The man pulls something out of his sweater. It a pistol, a fully loaded pistol. He holds it up to Donghyuck’s head. Mark almost screams out, but the dryness of his throat holds him back. 

“Hey wait a minute! Don’t I get a last word or something?” Donghyuck interrupts. 

“Fine.” The man says, lowering the gun to his side. Mark lets out a breath of relief. 

“Hmmm... actually. I’d like to make a phone call.” Donghyuck says. 

“Listen, it’s either last words or nothing.” The man seems unamused by Donghyuck’s incessant antics. 

“Come on, man. Even prison gives you one call!” Donghyuck whines. “And I have to say, so far this is worse than prison. I haven’t even gotten my first prison meal yet and you’re already tryin to shoot my brains out? This seems to be a twisted joke.” 

“Make it quick.” The man slides Donghyuck’s phone across the ground. 

“How am I supposed to type? I’m kinda tied up here.” Donghyuck wiggles his hands behind his back. 

“Figure it out. And you better not pull any funny business.” The man points an accusatory finger at them. 

“Me? Never.” Donghyuck says incredulously. 

“Right.” The man pushes the phone a little closer to Donghyuck. 

“This is so embarrassing.” Donghyuck grimaces. He taps the tip of his nose to the phone screen, sliding around. He types in a phone number and calls it, waiting for someone to pick up. “You know, the least you can do is give us a little privacy.”

“Make it quick.” The man slides the door of the warehouse open and slips outside. 

“Who are you calling?” Mark asks. 

“My brother.” Donghyuck says. The phone picks up.

“ _ Hello? _ ” Jaehyun’s voice comes muffled through the phone. 

“Hey Jaehyun, can you pick me and mark up? We just got kidnapped.”    
  



	8. The Problems with Being a Hero, According to Jaehyun

“Wait, you what?” Jaehyun’s eyes are about to pop right out of their sockets. “You’re in real deep shit this time.” 

“_ Yeah, I know! _ ” Donghyuck replies, sounding slightly annoyed. “ _ I need you to come get us. _” 

“What am I just supposed to show up and take you back?” Jaehyun rolls his eyes. “Like I’m picking you up from daycare? This has got to be some kind of sick joke.” 

_ “It isn’t _ !” Donghyuck says quickly. “ _ Our Uber driver kidnapped us.” _

“That’s a real knee slapper, Donghyuck. Now I have more important things to deal with than your shitty pranks so-“ 

“_ Jaehyun, it isn’t a prank! Mark is kidnapped too _.” Donghyuck interrupts. “Right Mark?” 

“_ Hey Jaehyun _.” Another, less annoying, voice comes through the phone. 

“So. This really isn’t a joke_ ? _” Jaehyun feels a pit building in his stomach. 

“_ Nope. Not a joke. _” Mark replies. 

“_ It’d be nice if you got us out of here. This guy is already trying to kill me _ !” Donghyuck says. “ _ I’ve gotten a gun put to my head once already _.” 

“That’s just cuz you’re annoying.” Jaehyun tries to laugh it off but he can’t. Sure, his brother is annoying and sometimes Jaehyun wishes he would magically disappear, but he doesn’t want his brother dead at the hands of some kidnapper. 

“_ Other than that, he’s pretty shit at his job. He let me make a phone call, I haven’t gotten food yet, and his threats are currently empty. _” Donghyuck says. 

“I’ll be there in like thirty minutes. You want me to call 911?” Jaehyun starts his panicking. He’s running around his room, grabbing his jacket and his keys and slipping his feet into some random pair of shoes. 

“_ It’d be nice- just fucking call 911 _!” Donghyuck says sarcastically. 

“Why didn’t you do it?” Jaehyun almost trips over his own two feet as he stumbles around the room. 

“_ He said no funny business, I’m not exactly looking for a gun to be pointed to my head again _,” Donghyuck replies. 

“Right, look I gotta go.” Jaehyun runs out into the hallway. 

“_ Don’t take too long! _” The phone call ends. Jaehyun checks for Donghyuck’s location through his phone and takes a quick screenshot. Now, he has a whole new monster to tackle. Johnny. At this point, he’s already realized he needs a ride from Johnny. It’s the only way he’s gonna get there in good time. So he walks down the hall, anxiety increasing. 

He stands before the door, contemplating knocking for only a moment before making up his mind. His brother is more important than his pride and his struggling love life. He roughly knocks on the door. 

“Come on. Open up. Open up.” He mutters. 

“Who’s-“ Johnny says. “Jaehyun? What are you doing here?” He opens the door with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows. 

“No time to explain, we gotta go.” Jaehyun rushes through his words, slurring them into an almost unintelligible sentence. 

“Where? What?” Johnny raises an eyebrow. He seems confused, just as anyone would be. 

“I need you to drive me somewhere, it’s really important,” Jaehyun says. “I’ll explain in the car.” 

“You better.” Johnny grabs for the keys to his Audi and slips on his vans. 

—- 

By the time they get into the car to leave the university parking lot, Jaehyun is nearly on the verge of passing out. 

“So, What the fuck is happening. You show up to my room, demanding a ride without any reason.” Johnny sighs. “Usually, those things don’t mean anything good.” 

“We gotta save Mark and Donghyuck,” Jaehyun says. 

“From what?” 

“Johnny, they just got kidnapped.” 

There’s a pause. The air thickens and both of them stay suspiciously silent. 

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me that before?” Johnny shoves the key into the ignition. 

“I just needed to get you out of your room, the details weren’t exactly important at the moment.” Jaehyun sighs. “It worked at least.” 

“True, but I still would have come out even if you just told me that my brother was kidnapped,” Johnny says as the car engine revs to life. “Where are they?” 

“I took a screenshot of the location so I can put it into the GPS. It’s some warehouse in the middle of nowhere.” Jaehyun pulls up the photo. 

“How did Donghyuck call you? The kidnapper took his phone, right?” Johnny pulls out of his parking spot, precariously looking behind him. 

“He said this one isn’t very good. The dude gave him the phone and gave him some privacy.” Jaehyun says. 

“I couldn’t ask for a better kidnapper,” Johnny replies sarcastically. Even though they’re stuck together out of circumstance, it feels good to be talking again. Jaehyun feels his cheeks redden slightly, but he would never show Johnny that. 

They leave the parking lot, Johnny going a couple of miles over the speed limit, and pull out onto the city streets. Johnny’s frantic, hands shaking on the wheel. 

“Calm down, even if we don’t get there on time, I called the police already,” Jaehyun says. 

“I know, but what if the kidnapper kills them?”

“Donghyuck already got a gun put to his head once and hasn’t died yet, I’m sure this guy is gonna take a while.” Jaehyun tries to calm him down. Truly, he’s scared too, so scared, in fact, he’s surprised Johnny can’t tell. Or maybe Johnny is just as scared as him and they cancel each other out.

“That’s not exactly reassuring.” Johnny sighs. He pushes down a little harder on the pedal.

“He could have had his brains shot out by now,” Jaehyun says. It’s true, there really could be worse circumstances. Johnny races down the street like he’s Nascar driver, almost drifting around a curb. 

The drive is silent from then on, the only noise coming from Johnny’s tires screeching against the road and the hum of the Audi's engine. 

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun starts, “about the other night.” 

“For what?” Johnny asks. He starts to merge onto the highway, but Jaehyun knows his mind is elsewhere. 

“For running away.” Jaehyun blurts out. “It was kind of a shitty thing for me to do.” 

“Yeah, just a little,” Johnny replies. 

“Are you mad at me?” 

“I’m not really mad. I’m over it now.” Johnny nods. “I understand. You didn’t really like me in the first place, right?” 

“I-“ Jaehyun pauses. 

“You can just say it.” Johnny keeps his eyes on the road. “It’s fine if you don’t. It was just a funny blind date thing.” 

“Yeah, we can just get over it now.” Jaehyun’s heart is aching in his chest. “We’re still friends though, right?” 

“Of course, just cuz I almost kissed you doesn’t mean we aren’t friends anymore. I’ll be your friend forever.” Johnny says. Jaehyun sees his ears become redder and redder. 

The car goes back to radio silence. Jaehyun hears Johnny let out a huff of air and he opens his mouth to say something. But nothing comes out. He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth again. 

“I kinda like you.” Johnny stares at the road ahead, trying to keep his eyes away from Jaehyun. 

“Yeah, I know that.” Jaehyun sighs. “But that’s not important, I gotta get my brother back before my parents find out otherwise my mom is gonna slaughter me and eat my liver for breakfast.” 

“Right.” 

“I like you back.” Jaehyun slightly smiles. Johnny doesn’t see it. “Just letting you know.”

“I know that.”   
  



	9. The Problems with Kidnappers, According to Donghyuck

“Hey, when are we getting lunch?” Donghyuck whines. “I’m starving.” 

“Do you ever shut up?” The kidnapper says, exasperated. 

“Never,” Mark replies. “He never stops talking.” 

“Come on, can you blame me? This warehouse is really boring. There’s only so many times I can count the burnt out ceiling lights before I go insane.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “I’m tied up and I’m probably gonna die here, might as well make my last dying breaths a little more enjoyable.” 

“Please, for the love of god! Shut the fuck up before I blow your brains out.” The Kidnapper begs. 

“Try me.” Donghyuck sticks his tongue out. 

“Hyuck!” Mark says frantically. “Don’t challenge him, we’re the ones tied up here.” 

“I know Mark, and I’m gonna have to die without kissing you one last time.” Donghyuck sniffles. “Play along.” He whispers, just low enough to the point where the kidnapper couldn’t hear him. Mark nods in understanding. 

“Yeah, I’ll never hold you once last time,” Mark adds. 

“And we’ll never cuddle again.” 

“And we’ll never go on another date!” 

“And we’ll reside in our graves in separate caskets, never to be together again.” 

“I’ll never get another Mark smooch again.” Donghyuck fake sniffles again. 

“I’ll never get to hold hands with my one true love again.” Mark hangs his head in despair. 

“I’ll never-“

“For the love of god!” The kidnapper screeches. “Please stop! I’ll let you go, just stop being all sappy. I literally can’t stand it anymore. The whole time both of you have been whining and complaining and being disgustingly lovey-dovey.” 

The kidnapper sighs as he walks over to Mark and Donghyuck. He reaches over, pulling to untie the knot. Once the rope is pulled away, Donghyuck and mark get up on their feet. Donghyuck lunges at the kidnapper and lands a punch square in the jaw. The man collapses on the floor, groaning in pain. 

“That’s for stealing my shoes,” Donghyuck says coldly. 

Mark gives him a swift kick to the ribs. 

“And that’s for kidnapping us.” Mark huffs. 

“That was easier than expected.” Donghyuck smiles. “Turns out being too romantic can get you out of a kidnapping. Who knew?” 

“Hyuck, I think this guy was kind of the exception.” Mark points to the kidnapper wailing on the floor. “I’m pretty sure most kidnappers would have killed you by now. I’m guessing we were just lucky.” 

“Well whatever, he let us go.” Donghyuck shrugs. “Oh hey! My shoes!” 

He runs over to the corner of the warehouse, where his pair of pristine Chelsea boots are sitting. He slips them back on and grins. 

“Now, let's get outta here,” Donghyuck says. “I’m sure there’s still enough time for us to have our ramen date. Besides, I’m kinda starving. Apparently getting kidnapped really sparks your appetite.” 

Donghyuck slides open the door to the warehouse, only to be faced with a horde of police cars. 

“Put your hands in the air.” One of the police officers demands over a megaphone. 

“I guess your brother did call the police,” Mark whispers. 

“Donghyuck! Mark!” They both hear loud footsteps in the distance. Jaehyun is running towards them, almost tripping over himself. Johnny isn’t far behind. “I thought you were dead.” Jaehyun pulls Donghyuck in for a hug. It feels really weird. 

“You think I’d die that easily? Never.” Donghyuck says triumphantly. “That kidnapper had nothing on me and Mark.” 

“How’d you escape?” Johnny asks. 

“Nothing much.” Donghyuck smirks. 

“We were too sappy, so he ended up letting us go.” Mark sighs. 

“Wait what?” Jaehyun raises an eyebrow. “That’s total bullshit.” 

“It really isn’t, Jae.” Donghyuck whines. “It really happened!”

“I don’t believe you.” Jaehyun rolls his eyes. 

“You never believe me.” Donghyuck clicks his tongue. 

“Alright, I don’t think this is the time for a fight.” Johnny tries to calm both of them down. “You did just get kidnapped, after all, I think we should go back to the dorms and just rest for a while, yeah? Then we can all talk.” 

“Fine.” Donghyuck sighs. Mark just rolls his eyes and wraps his arm around Donghyuck. 

“I’m kinda sorry for getting us into this mess, Mark,” Donghyuck says. “I did order the uber after all.” 

“It’s fine babe. I mean, usually uber drivers aren’t kidnappers, maybe fate just likes to fuck with us.” Mark grins. “It’s another thing we can cross off our imaginary bucket list. 

Sure, Donghyuck just narrowly escaped death, but there’s nothing like being here in the moment, with Mark wrapping his arm around him. He loves every moment of it, even if he just got kidnapped by an uber driver. The feeling of Mark’s arm heavy on his shoulders assures him everything is going to be okay.

\--- 

The car ride back is silent, only interrupted by the monotonous tone of the car radio. Mark is napping, his eyes closed as he leans his head against the seat’s headrest. He looks at peace, the wrinkles between his eyebrows dissipating. Donghyuck just sighs with content. He feels safe in Johnny’s Audi. 

However, he notices the looks between Johnny and Jaehyun, how their ears flush with just a tinge of pink whenever they sneak a look at each other. 

“I’m surprised you both came to save us.” Donghyuck breaks the silence. 

“Oh, it was nothing. I needed a ride, Johnny was there, his brother was tied up with you. It just seemed like the perfect plan, you know. Use Johnny’s car, drive over there.” Jaehyun rushes through his words. 

“Uh-huh.” Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. “What’s up between you two? You keep looking at each other all weird.” 

“What? Weird? Us? Never.” Johnny sputters, struggling to keep his eyes on the road. 

“Yeah, just some totally average-” Jaehyun adds. 

“Totally normal bros.” Johnny finishes. 

“You’ve been off since the whole date thing, what’s going on?” Donghyuck decides to pry deeper.

“We- we were talking while we were in the car.” Johnny hesitates. “Me and Jaehyun… we like each other.” 

“Yeah, and?” Donghyuck acts unamused. Deep down inside, his little gay heart is jumping for joy, prancing around in his rib cage. He’d never let Jaehyun or Johnny know that though, it’s totally prime blackmail material. “I already knew that.” 

“Who told you?” Jaehyun asks. 

“Mark, duh,” Donghyuck says. “Why else did you think we set you up on a blind date? We were just waiting for you two to finally admit it. Listen, I’m a romance professional, nothing gets past me.” 

“It would have saved us a lot of trouble and embarrassment if you had just told us that I don’t know… two weeks ago!” Jaehyun yells.

“To be honest, it was a lot more fun to see it all unfold. It’s hilarious trying to see you two be romantic with each other.” Donghyuck giggles. “Nothing quite like playing matchmaker. It’s like having my own reality tv show right in front of my eyes.” 

“If it weren’t for the fact that you were just kidnapped and I feel kinda bad, I’d have you in a chokehold right now.” Jaehyun threatens. 

“You know you love me.” Donghyuck smirks. “And you know you love Johnny too.” 

\--- 

By the time they get back to the dorms, the sun is starting to set and his sky is a vision of pinks and blues and oranges.

“You mind if I use the bathroom in your dorm?” Johnny asks. 

“Yeah, just let me open the door first.” Mark fiddles around for the key in his pocket. 

“I think me and Johnny are gonna stick around for a little before we head back to our place,” Jaehyun says. 

“Wow, you’ve been together for barely five minutes and you’re already moving in together? This relationship is moving fast.” Donghyuck taunts. He’s gonna have the best time mocking his newly lovesick brother.

“You know what I mean.” Jaehyun sputters.

Mark unlocks his dorm room door, luckily finding no one inside.

“Nice, we have the dorm all to ourselves.” Mark saunters into his living quarters before collapsing onto the bed. “Being kidnapped is kinda tiring.” 

Johnny bursts into the room, all but sprinting into the bathroom before shutting the door violently behind him. 

“I’m gonna go get some snacks.” Jaehyun closes the door behind him as he walks out. 

Now it’s only Donghyuck and Mark. Donghyuck quickly scrambles on top of Mark’s bed, curling into his embrace. 

“I’m happy we didn’t die today,” Mark whispers as he kisses lightly at Donghyuck’s neck. 

“Yeah, you don’t realize how close you are to death until there’s a gun pointed at your head.” Donghyuck snorts. 

“Maybe _ don’t _ run your mouth next time and we don’t have to worry about a glock to the head.” Mark sighs. 

“Whatever, I’m still here. He couldn't get rid of me that easy.” Donghyuck says. “Speaking of here.” Donghyuck sits up, straddling Mark between his thighs. 

“Babe, we can’t do it now.” Mark gruffs. “My brother is in the bathroom right next to us and Jaehyun’s picking out snacks. He’ll be back any minute now.” 

“Markie, we’ll be fine.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “Johnny looked like he had to shit something fierce. I’m pretty sure he’s gonna be in there for a while. And Jaehyun can sit at a vending machine for eons before he picks a snack.” His hands roam all over Mark’s clothed chest. 

“Hyuck,” Mark warns. 

“Come on Mark, being tied up with that rope got me all hot and bothered. We can get a quickie in.” 

“Just this once.” Mark lowers his voice again. “It’s only because I’m a little horny from you saying that you’re horny.” 

“Do you turn you on?” Donghyuck smirks. 

“Yes, Hyuck.” Mark turns away, face flushed slightly. “Now, let's get a move on.” 

Donghyuck initiates the kiss, connecting their lips together with fervor. His cheeks heat up quickly, spreading across his face until he’s burning up. Mark pins him down, holding his wrists above his head and attacking Dong hyuck’s already swollen lips. He bites at Dong hyuck’s plump bottom lip, making Dong hyuck’s breath hitch slightly. He’s squirming from pleasure under Mark’s touch. Mark fights back, pushing his tongue into Dong hyuck’s mouth and taking over with passion. Donghyuck lets him. He doesn’t want to fight back, he just wants to release the tension pent up inside him. The air between them is hot and heavy, already leaving a sticky feeling on the surface of Dong hyuck’s skin. 

“Hey Mark, I’m sorry bro but-” Johnny walks out of the bathroom, stopping dead in his tracks when he locks eyes with both of the horny college kids right in front of him. “Oh. Come on guys, you just got kidnapped. You couldn’t keep it in your pants just a little bit longer?” 

“It’s Hyuck’s fault!” Mark blurts out. “He said he was horny.” 

“You teenagers and your insatiable libidos. To be a youth again.” Johnny says dreamily. 

“You literally haven’t even graduated from college yet.” Mark sighs. 

“Sometimes, I can still hear them, even with my old man hearing.” Johnny looks off into the distance. 

“What’s going on here?” Jaehyun walks in, half of some shitty vegan snack crammed into his mouth. 

“These two were gonna go at it in the middle of the dorm room,” Johnny replies. “I guess we gotta teach them about… _ the birds and the bees _.” He giggles. 

“Oh.” Jaehyun’s face lights up. “Listen, kids, when two people love each other very much-” 

“No.” Donghyuck grimaces. 

“They might decide to get it on. See, you can get it on in many places. Your room, at a party, in a cafe bathroom.” Jaehyun says. “But, in order to not get an STI and die, you gotta stay safe.” 

“Remember kids, don’t be silly, wrap your willy!” Johnny chimes. 

“Johnny! Why!” Mark whines. 

“Mark, this is important information. Do you wanna get gonorrhea and die?” Jaehyun says matter of factly. 

“Well, no.” Mark sighs. 

‘So. listen.” Jaehyun nods. “Now, to protect yourself from harmful sexually transmitted diseases, you gotta use a condom.” 

“Oh my god, Jaehyun. Shut up!” Donghyuck screeches.  



	10. The Problems With Epilogues, According to Everyone

“I love you,” Johnny says, turning over to face Jaehyun. Their hands are intertwined under the covers. It makes Johnny’s heart feel warm and content in the best way. 

“I love you too.” Jaehyun smiles through his words, leaning close to Johnny until their lips are just barely touching. 

It’s been barely two months since they’ve become official, but both of them are lovestruck. Jaehyun and Johnny follow each other around, holding hands, sharing little chaste kisses. Johnny loves it. Jaehyun loves it. They’re both totally in love with each other. 

“Last night was good.” Johnny stretches, exposing the marks littering the expanse of his back and the once milky white column of his neck. 

“Yeah, but my ass kinda hurts.” Jaehyun huffs. “The sacrifices I make for love. They’re just amazing.” 

“Well if it makes you feel any better, that was the best sex of my life,” Johnny smirks. 

“Not that you have a lot of experience, I’m sure.” Jaehyun snorts. 

“Hey!” Johnny pouts. “I just fucked you, the Jung Jaehyun of all people, how could life get any better.” 

“You could be passing,” Jaehyun adds.    


“I am  _ passing _ .” Johnny huffs. “Most of my classes anyway.” 

“Sure babe.” 

“I can’t believe it’s gonna be over soon.” 

“What?” Jaehyun furrows his brows. 

“College. Here I am, four years later, in massive debt, sleep-deprived, next to the love of my life. Fate works in mysterious ways.” Johnny sighs. 

“Are you worried?” Jaehyun says. 

“No, god no. I’m excited. I’m just reminiscing about how fast it’s all gone. I mean just two months ago, we were saving our kid brothers from a really shitty kidnapper. Two months ago we stole breadsticks from Olive Garden and almost kissed in my dorm room, two months ago I finally worked up the balls to confess to you.” 

“A lot of things changed two months ago.” Jaehyun cuddles into the covers further.    


“Yeah, a lot of things for the better.” Johnny smiles. “I wish things could stay like this forever.” 

“What are you gonna do after college is over?” Jaehyun asks. “That’s the next step after this. It’s kinda scary to be completely honest.” 

“I don’t really know.” Johnny gives a half shrug. “I haven’t thought of it too much. All I need is my degree and you. If I have those two things, I think I’m set.” 

“That’s so fucking _cheesy_.” Jaehyun shudders. “I love it.” 

“I love you,” Johnny says. 

“I love you too.” Jaehyun connects their lips back together in a kiss, this time a little deeper and with a touch of fiery passion. 

\--- 

Some say life is a box of chocolates, some say it’s like a book, but Donghyuck believes it’s almost akin to a roller coaster. It’s filled with loops and highs and lows, and you probably feel like throwing up a couple of times. There’s a burst of adrenaline in living, just taking that first and last breath. 

So here he is, on a Saturday afternoon, wrapped up in Mark’s arms as they watch the leaves falling. The seasons are changing, so many things in his life are changing. He likes it, he likes the changes around him. After all, his brother finally came to terms with his gay jeelings (Johnny feelings). Call him absolutely fucking insane, but it is sort of nice to see his brother smile, even if he kinda looks like a loaf of bread. 

Mark is the same Mark, which makes Donghyuck fall in love even further with his boyfriend. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. Even if it means getting kidnapped, he wouldn’t spend his life with anyone else. There’s just no way. Mark loves Donghyuck and Donghyuck loves Mark. He’d like to keep it that way. 

“What are you thinking about?” Mark whispers in Donghyuck’s ear, sending a shiver down his spine. 

“Nothing in particular,” Donghyuck responds. 

“You looked pretty spaced out there.” He says. 

“Things are changing for us, you know.” Donghyuck sighs. “It’s a lot to take in.” 

“Well, I say we take it one day at a time.” Mark presses a kiss to Donghyuck’s lips. They both lean into it, drawing out the kiss for as long as possible. Eventually, Mark pulls away, smiling. There’s a thin string of saliva connecting them together. 

“Yeah, I like that plan.” Donghyuck grins, feeling a warm fuzzy feeling cover him from head to toe. 

“I love you.” Mark presses a kiss onto Donghyuck’s cheek. 

“I love you too,” Donghyuck says. 


End file.
